One day I will stop caring…
And my heart will stop bearing…
This pain…
Of unspoken dreams…
And vacant desires.
One day I will stop thinking of you…
And my head will be free of…
Your sweet sweet lies…
Your manipulating eyes.
One day I will stop understanding…
And my soul will stop soaking…
Your never ending alibis…
And your perfect pretense…!
One day I will raise my voice…
And make you hear…
All I have to say…
And all that you let go unheard of.
One day I’ll walk into your life…
As me and not someone…
You carved out…
Of your fantasy.
One day I’ll know where I went wrong…
And let you play with my…
Immature feelings…
And inexperienced lips…!
One day I’ll know why I acted so dumb…
Not knowing
It was all a lie from the start…!
One day I’ll be strong enough…
To let it all go…
Your insensitivity…
Your Heartlessness…
Erase you from my heart and soul…
Wash away your imprints…
And live a lie myself…
“I Hate You”…!!!
Posts tagged love
JUST ME…
From the pastel picture unfolding before my eyes…
To dark smoky rays of your existence…
From the morning’s fresh air…
To the dewdrops that moisten my skin…
I’m just flesh and blood.
From the quiet hour before the dawn…
To the bustling city sunset…
From the frosted glass cabins…
To the late hours in the empty halls…
I’m just a paid employee.
From all the failures in math…
To all the achievements in science…
From all the medals on the mantle…
To all the certificates bearing dust…
I’m just a student.
From all the times you shared…
To all the times we stood hand in hand…
From all the classroom gossip…
To all the unconditional trust…
I’m just a friend.
From the endless expectations…
To all the times I stood quiet in respect…
From all the praises…
To all the times I suppressed my wishes…
I’m just a daughter.
From all the late night hot chocolate…
To all the Disney movies…
From all the dirty little secrets…
To monthly allowances.
I’m just a sister.
From all the love stories…
To all the bangles on my dresser…
From all the winter night readings…
To all the bags that adorn my shoulders…
I’m just a girl.
From the peach blush on my cheeks…
To the deep kohl in my eyes….
From the fragrant henna on my hands…
To the chorus of my glass bangles…
I’m just a bride.
From the day you said I do…
To all the nights you held me tight…
From all the sacrifices in the name of love…
To all the rewards of silence…
I’m just a wife.
From all the eating for two…
To all the times of searing pain…
From the time I heard the first cry…
To the day of his graduation…
I’m just a mother.
From hot turbulent roiling fragments of my mind
To the time I’m filled with images spreading slowly across a blank page…
From when I try so hard to contain them, rein them back…
To the words that temper my emotions…
I’m just a writer.
That’s right…
Above all…
I’m a writer…
Poised, ink ready to flow…
Like blood through my veins…
Warmth, truth, bits and pieces of my life…
Waiting to blaze across these blank white pages…
My words…
Struggle against my will…
Each one taunting me…
Pleading with me to be set free…
They chide me…
“Be real, be honest…
Be brave, be bold,
Dare to write who and what we are.”
And when I listen to them…
And release my inner self…
I melt into the earth, vanish…
Only to be reborn again from the ashes…
And I am stronger than before…
Beautiful words, you have set me free…
Free to be who I really am…
Just me…
A writer…!!!
“…Selfless Presence…”
The sky is steel grey…
The sun has decided to take a holiday…
And birds chirrup loudly from the shaded mires.
A morning…
No different from the rest…
New York Times Square…
Certainly knows how to entertain winters.
Lively creatures…
Walk up and down the streets…
Each engaged in their own frivolities.
Running through the day…
Desperately trying to fill each minute…
With things yet to appear.
He is standing on one side of the road…
A man probably in his late twenties…
Waiting for the signal to go red…
Wearing his black pull over…
And a laptop bag on his right shoulder.
From the looks of a double espresso in his left hand…
Seems like he is on his way…
To another important meeting…
And
From the looks of his eyes…
It seems he has not been getting much sleep.
On the other side…
Another group of hasty pedestrians…
Linger to make their way to the other side.
Wait
What is this…?
A slender female in her early twenties…
Fidgeting amongst the rest…
She is most likely to be running late for work…
With the pile of files cramping her arm…
Looks like she is trying to make a mark…
In a world…
Ruled by chauvinistic men.
She tries to balance a latte in her hands…
While trying to keep warm…
Beneath her grey convertible collar trench.
And
From the looks of her dry patchy skin…
It seems she has not been taking much care of herself.
As the traffic signal…
Shifts from an emerald…
To a scarlet…
She takes her first step down the pavement…
He too unaware of the world around him…
Decides to mess with fate.
As her feet touches the first white stripe…
She raises her gloomy eyes…
And bringing on vindication…
His eyes meet hers…
The heart pounds…
But needs no retaliation.
She does not understand…
A self restoration takes place.
He finds him coerced towards her pale face…
A sudden disclosure of repose…
And a strange tenderness appears in the pupils.
As steps grow closer…
A faint smile starts to take shape…
His eyes speak of a betrayal beyond conception…
Her eyes narrate a story of trials and tears.
He feels no obligation…
To meet her expectations…
She assures with an unspoken declaration
Converting regulations…
Into friendly stipulations…!
She has a look that catches the eye…
But an aura that catches the heart…
His smile grows…!
He knows it is hard to reinstate faith…
But he is firm and resolute in his path.
Her cheeks fill up with color.
Half way between the roads
Their souls…
Intercept…
The air turns sultry…
The aroma of her hair…
Drenched in apples…
Sends a shiver down his spine…
His fantasies awaken.
Feelings of past emerge.
His deep dark eyes mystify her.
For a moment…
He could actually hear her heart ache with loneliness…
The accidental brisk of his arm against hers…
Caused the world to cease…
He had managed to give her an embrace of a lifetime…
With one single touch.
She wants to utter a million unsaid dreams…
And he understands each n every word.
He remembers how wonderful…
It was to live without boundaries.
She now remembers how cathartic…
It was to blush and feel beautiful.
As soon as they pass each other…
The world comes to life again…
Life does not stop for a mere theatrical debut.
They continue to take their steps forward…
She turns back and catches his gaze once again.
He whispers…
I’ve never felt so much familiarity…
By just staring into someone’s eyes…
So much I know about you without a single word…
Ever escaping either of our lips.
You have read me a like an open book…
And given me hope to write a brand new chapter.
She has learned to smile again…
And talk her heart out…
I do not understand…
How is it possible…?
In a matter of moments…
You have managed to heal my wounds…
In spangled silence…
You have given me a perfect moment of intimacy.
You’ve made me believe in kindness, loyalty and care once again.
“You have to put yourself first and learn to trust again”, he articulates.
“You have to let go of your past and give love a second chance”, she whispers back.
Now here we are…
Ready to depart our separate ways…
Beginning a brand new existence…
No one told us…
We were going to find each other…
Unexpected…
What you did to my heart…
When I lost hope…
You walked in…
Like a guardian angel…
Joint by an innocent touch…
We now feel free and ready to take on life.
As they step onto the concrete…
The sun peaks from behind the clouds…
His cell phone rings…
It’s his client, he loved his designs.
Her colleague waives to her…
Praises her dress and they walk away.
A selfless presence…
Can shower a decade of love and understanding…
Leaving behind only…
Memories that will stimulate smiles…
Till the end of time…!
“…imperfections…”
If you can look…
Look closely…
At my imperfections…!
If you hold my hands…
You’ll know how brittle I am.
If you ask me to dance…
You’ll know how much I love to fly.
If you look past the kohl…
You’ll know a sea of broken dreams.
If you touch my heart…
You’ll know how weak I am.
If you thrust my lips…
You’ll experience the fire inside me.
If you browse through the pages of my diary…
You’ll know how difficult it is to be righteous.
If you question my honor…
You’ll see the woman inside me.
If you ridicule my affection…
You’ll watch me move heavens for you.
If you inquire of a sacrifice…
You’ll see me walk away right this minute.
If you ask me for a favor…
You’ll know of my compassion.
If you put me under stress…
You’ll see how I shine before dawn.
If you pour toxins in my life…
You’ll observe my perseverance.
If you trap me in your lies…
You’ll see faith in my eyes.
If you try to cheat on me…
You’ll see me wait for you over dinner.
If you give me an anklet…
You’ll witness the melody of a thousand angels.
If you give me yellow roses…
You’ll know the blush of a bride.
If you tease my senses…
You’ll see how inexperience I’m in bed.
If you test my love…
You’ll awaken the Juliet inside me.
If you question my persistence…
You’ll find the 21 letters, never posted.
If you wonder of my patience…
You’ll spot me standing right here years down the line.
If you take me in your life…
You’ll walk into Paradise.
…HEAL…
Some twenty years ago…
My mom screamed her head off…
When she saw me scribbling on the kitchen wall…
I was forbidden to write…
On the walls that is…
Words…
Ah! Sweet Words…!
They have always been my refuge…
My saving grace…
My sanctuary…
Through all my struggles…
I’ve poured out my agony…
When I had to purge my sorrow…
Words came to my rescue…!
People often ridiculed me…
A Writer in a White Lab Coat…!
They used to say…
Question me…
How can scientists ever…
Describe the depths of loneliness…!
Little did they know…
No one could ever…
express it better than a Desert Princess…
Caught between being a daughter and a girl…!
I stuck to my soul…
I knew it was my true calling…
Often the pain along the way…
Was too deep to tell…
…and the sadness…
…and anger…
Bottled up all inside…
None to paint a picture of fear and regret…
That’s when a bound…
Spiral…
Collection of blank pages…
Saved me from the tallest tower in the castle…!
In a world where…
People are caught in trivial matters…
To help my grieve…
My words were here again…!
…to celebrate my victories…
…to hug my ache…
…to hold me when I’m cold…
…to dance with me in the rain…
My words have seen it all…!
All the sweet memories…
Those keep haunting me…
With the steady rhythm of my heart…
My words continue to tease your senses…
And long after…
I’ve left this temporary world…
My words will continue…
…to remind you of my love…
…my hatred…
…my dreams…!
Mom says, in our society…
Girls do not win the Pulitzer Prize
But that has never stopped me before…
So, listen you all…
Am not giving up my dream just yet…
I still believe…
I have what it takes…
To make people go…
…awww…
And
…ahhhh…!
Ill be the persisting wall of words…
Never letting go…
I don’t care what you say…
I just know one thing…
Somewhere in these words…
Hides my essence…
My fountain of youth…
Have to keep drinking it…
Have to keep putting it…
…on paper…
To heal myself…!!!
“I still believe…”
A few pictures rest among the pages of my diary…
A used tissue paper still reeks of you…
An old toffee wrapper still smells sweets…
And the city is still alive at 3:15 AM in the morning.
The waves still rise above the shore…
I still cannot reach into the sky and hold a star…
People still believe in stories of love and destiny…
And I still find myself telling sweet lies.
The wind still blows against my pale cheeks…
Dreams still find a way back to me…
A few songs are still hard to listen to…
And I still believe this was all meant to be.
I still weep at night under the sheets…
The wall beside my dresser still illustrates the crack…
The black tee still bears the coffee stain…
And I still cannot find my pink charm bracelet.
This bed still hides a few secrets untold…
This cell phone still holds a few calls unanswered…
This library still conceals your letters…
And I still sometimes see you near my bed post.
A few words are still hard to say…
A few feelings are still hard to express…
A few dreams are still hard to let go off…
And a few hugs are still irreplaceable.
I still believe in strangers becoming best of friends…
I still believe my words make you shudder…
I still believe I’ve what it takes to bring you back…
And I still believe in YOU…!!!
“For Now…” – Sequel to A Forbidden Encounter
Yellow roses…
Adorn her desk…
Yellow bangles…
Tease her senses…
Perhaps just not hers…
Her life has suddenly taken a detour…
Which she accepts…
She does not concur…!
Blushing away into oblivion…
Smiling for no reason at all…
Feeling beautiful in a middle of a hot day…
Is this all for real…?
This is not her…
A practical girl…
Who has always lived on her terms…
Now finds herself…
Strayed into a pair of
Prohibited arms…
Can this be all true…?
A girl like her…
Can she actually let go of her boundaries…?
To be with someone
She is forbidden to even dream of.
She finds herself…
Staring at the criss – cross lines…
Trying to figure…
If his name…
Might be hiding
Under the blankets of destiny.
No, he already belongs to someone else…
She cannot do this…
How can she even think…
Of hurting the one man she loves the most!
How can she be this selfish…
She keeps telling herself…
THIS TOO SHALL PASS…
But how will she ever…
Ward off his taste…
And push away his fragrance…
How perfectly he held her in his arms…
How perfectly her arms glided on his shoulders…!
How can she forget…
How he understands her darkest fears…
Just by her gait…
How can she ignore…
All the talks…
All the hours of endless sharing…
Each word uttered by him…
Secretly lives in her diary!
The trust she has is in him…
Carries a simple tune to her heart…
An emotional devotion…
A divine intervention…
She wishes everyday
To be self-centered enough
To ask him…
What he can never give.
She wants to know…
Can he put his hand in hers…
And go through life…
Leading each other to the light…
Till the end of time…!
Alas…
These are just dreams…
And hopeless antics…
That will take her no where…
For now she only wishes to be his Best Friend…
And be there for him…
Whenever he needs a hug…
A hug when the world is fast asleep…!
A love story that was only…
Meant to be written…
And not read…!
Legendary, and only told of in tales.
For now let me…
Hold onto your hand…
For tomorrow is to come…
With new battles to be fought…
And I want to be the one…
You turn to…
And talk your heart out…!
“NEW MOON”
The Night of 14th December…
The corniche…
The car bonnet…
The stars…
The new moon…
Two cans of coke…
And
Two Best Friends…!
God! That was fun…
I know, can’t believe we actually did it.
Did you look at the green sari aunty…?
She could not stop staring…!
Yeah and that guy with the purple shirt…
He was practically panting…!
Really, everyone was like this is not possible…
They did not know what hit them…!
Well, you have to accept…
We do make a pretty good team.
I agree…!
They both were lying down…
Facing the stars…
Celebrating their victory…
It was pretty hard…
But nearly as impossible…!
Together, they could conquer anything…
And be the envy of the entire gathering…!
You tired…
He turned and asked her…
A bit but I’m too excited to feel any of it…
What about you?
Yup the same…!
He turned to her again…
You want something to eat…?
Not hungry…what is got into you…you never bother to ask me these things…?
Well, I guess…just trying to develop a habit…!
She laughed…
Don’t, I like the you…just the way you are…!
He smiled back.
She turned her head towards him…
He was looking back at her…
What are you staring at…?
Nothing, just trying to figure out something…!
She gave him the ignore look and looked up the sky…
The moon is full and shinning at its peak…
We sure picked the perfect date to carry out our performance…!
He took her hand…
She turned towards him…
He filled his fingers with his…
And pulled her hands towards his chest…!
You know whats the best thing about all of this…
What she inquired with hopeful eyes…
That at the end of it all…
I get to hold your Heena Hands…
And feel your Red Glass Bangles…!
Her cheeks flushed…
And her gaze lowered with love…!
The Crimson Red and Betel Green dress took a new turn…
The Kohl smudged…
The Earring caught in the Embroidery…
The Anklet made a heart-melting echo…
The Bangles found a support to lie down…
And the…
Bride and the Groom…share their First Kiss…!
Under the stars…
Tonight…
Whispered… “WE DID IT” =)
Sign Of True Love…Or Total Insanity…!
What the hell is this?
Crap…!
Are you of your mind?
I swear…I don’ know anything about this.
What do you mean…?
This came out of your bad…!
I have no idea, where this came from…
I promise you, this is not mine.
Don’t you dare lie to me…!
You expect me to believe you…!
So this was your important work last night.
I cannot believe, you lied to me…!
Just let me explain…
You are misunderstanding me.
No, now I can see it clear…
How can you hurt someone you love…?
This only shows you don’t love me…
How could I be so naive…?
I let my heart get the best of me…!
Will you just relax…
And stop jumping onto conclusions…
When I told you, I needed you…
I was missing your hugs…
You said…
You can’t make it…
Now I know, what was keeping you busy…!
Sweetheart, please it’s not what you think…
I love you very much…
I would never even think of hurting you..
Liar…!
Here I’m thinking of you…
And there you were smacking lips with…
Honey, don’t say that…!
Trust me…
Do you actually I can be ever un-faithful to you?
I don’t know anything now…
Just go away…
Honey, please don’t do this…
I said, just go away…!
I need some time alone…
Please just go away…
He quietly walked out…
He knew…
It was pointless talking to her right now…
Back in the room…
She threw the one thing that started all this…
Out the window
It was a wrapper
Of…
BEN & JERRY’S CHUNKY MONKEY ICE CREAM….!!! =P
A SUBTLE DRAMA….!
It was a timeless image…
A Chanel black silk halter…
Long evening gown…
A plunging V neckline…
A pleated surplice bodice…
A velvet trim resting at the waist…
Understanding the curves…
And a seductive cross back…
A pair of Givenchy black stiletto with peeping toes
A pair of tear – dropped diamond earrings…
And the most perfect set of soft black curls…
Complimenting her smoky eyes…
Just the perfect touch to a subtle drama…!
All of this was…
Nothing why he moved towards her…
It was the middle of a September Night…
Paris was all lit up…as always.
Everywhere you turn…
You could see people living life…
To the fullest…!
And there she was standing under the fountain…
Drenched from head to toe…
The curls were lost completely…
The kohl was trickling down her cheeks…
Creating a trail of terror…
The diamond earrings glistened under the moonlight…
She was shivering with the cold n fear…
He was passing waiting in the parking lot…
For his date…
Who was unusually late tonight…
They were to attend a corporate dinner tonight…
Perhaps it was just Destiny up to its tricks again…!
She caught his attention out-of-the-blue…
And he got struck…!
She was weeping…
Whimpering in hush tones…
On such a busy street…
How could no one notice…?
A girl in a gown soaking wet under the fountain?
He looked here and there…
To assure himself…
That he was not hallucinating…
This girl was for real…
He started walking towards her…
Keeping telling himself…
That she might just a figment of his imagination…
She was the most astounding living creature…
He ever had laid eyes upon…
So fragile…
Yet standing firm…
Her eyes were brimming…
Yet knew what she desired…!
He approached her…
With a strange gut feeling…
She stood trembling…
Ma’am are you okay…?
She did not utter a single word.
Something I can help you with…?
She was constantly starring…
At something…
He looked down to find an answer…
He could not see anything…
No object…
No living being…
He looked up again…
Are you looking for something…?
She stood gaping at the ground…
He reached out to her shoulder…
But withdrew back…
He knew something was terribly wrong…
He tried to talk to her but in vain…
With a hope of finding something…
He looked down again…
And in the midst of the splashes…
He saw something…
A thin red line…
Moving back n forth with the water…
His eyes exploded…
When he trailed the line back to her feet…
Blood…!!!
It was then when her belly caught his attention…
We have to get you to a hospital…
Now….!!!
She did not budge…
He grabbed hold of her hand…
And took her in his arms…
And carried her off to his car…
She remained mumbling…
He took her to nearest emergency room…
The meds put her on a stretcher…
And pulled her away…
Right then…
She gathered…
What was left of her strength…
Trying to breathe…
Half conscious…
Bleeding to death…
And tried to hold onto the end of his dinner jacket…
He tried to take her hands…
And the meds carried her away…
Right there…
In that moment…
A universe…
Detonated…
This woman…
A complete stranger to him…
And in less than 30 seconds…
She managed to change…
His entire life course…
15 minutes later…
He was called inside the doctor’s office…
Please have a seat…
Is he okay…?
Are you the father…?
No.
Are you a relative…?
No.
I’m the husband…!
Your wife is fine…
But we are very sorry…
We could not save your child.
Is she going to be alright…?
Yes, weakness and trauma…
Will surround for a while…
But she is going to be fine.
When can I take her home…?
In the morning.
Can I see her now…?
Yes, of course you can…
Right now…
She needs you the most…
He walked inside the room…
With a bunch of Yellow Roses…
She was lying still…looking out the window…
Upon his entrance…
She turned at him…
She hardly remembered anything…
The doctor entered…
You are one lucky lady Mrs. Adam
Your husband was only concerned about you.
She looked puzzled…
And then she looked at him…!
The doctor left…
She tried to get up…
He went closer to her bed and asked her to lie down.
He put the flowers on her bedside…
And sat down right beside her…
Do I know you…?
No.
Then why all this?
He gave a faint smile…
And took out a piece paper from his pocket…
Handling it to her…
This is why…
She knew what the paper contained…
Her eyes…
Already swollen…
Filled up with tears…
She took the piece of paper…
Close to hear heart…
And started crying out loud like a little child…!
There was instant desire to comfort her…
But he knew he had to resist…
But he could not stand see her torture herself like this…
He got and started to walk away…
Just then…
An arm reached out…
Gripping the end of his Armani jacket…
He turned around…
Saw her exhausted…
With pain…
And embraced her…
She cried in his arms…
And he kept rocking her like a baby…
Nestled against his chest…!
The next morning…
He carried her off to the car…in his arms…!
THE PIECE OF PAPER – “Get Rid Of That Thing…Bitch”.