Some twenty years ago…
My mom screamed her head off…
When she saw me scribbling on the kitchen wall…
I was forbidden to write…
On the walls that is…
Words…
Ah! Sweet Words…!
They have always been my refuge…
My saving grace…
My sanctuary…
Through all my struggles…
I’ve poured out my agony…
When I had to purge my sorrow…
Words came to my rescue…!
People often ridiculed me…
A Writer in a White Lab Coat…!
They used to say…
Question me…
How can scientists ever…
Describe the depths of loneliness…!
Little did they know…
No one could ever…
express it better than a Desert Princess…
Caught between being a daughter and a girl…!
I stuck to my soul…
I knew it was my true calling…
Often the pain along the way…
Was too deep to tell…
…and the sadness…
…and anger…
Bottled up all inside…
None to paint a picture of fear and regret…
That’s when a bound…
Spiral…
Collection of blank pages…
Saved me from the tallest tower in the castle…!
In a world where…
People are caught in trivial matters…
To help my grieve…
My words were here again…!
…to celebrate my victories…
…to hug my ache…
…to hold me when I’m cold…
…to dance with me in the rain…
My words have seen it all…!
All the sweet memories…
Those keep haunting me…
With the steady rhythm of my heart…
My words continue to tease your senses…
And long after…
I’ve left this temporary world…
My words will continue…
…to remind you of my love…
…my hatred…
…my dreams…!
Mom says, in our society…
Girls do not win the Pulitzer Prize
But that has never stopped me before…
So, listen you all…
Am not giving up my dream just yet…
I still believe…
I have what it takes…
To make people go…
…awww…
And
…ahhhh…!
Ill be the persisting wall of words…
Never letting go…
I don’t care what you say…
I just know one thing…
Somewhere in these words…
Hides my essence…
My fountain of youth…
Have to keep drinking it…
Have to keep putting it…
…on paper…
To heal myself…!!!
Date Archives October 2010
“I still believe…”
A few pictures rest among the pages of my diary…
A used tissue paper still reeks of you…
An old toffee wrapper still smells sweets…
And the city is still alive at 3:15 AM in the morning.
The waves still rise above the shore…
I still cannot reach into the sky and hold a star…
People still believe in stories of love and destiny…
And I still find myself telling sweet lies.
The wind still blows against my pale cheeks…
Dreams still find a way back to me…
A few songs are still hard to listen to…
And I still believe this was all meant to be.
I still weep at night under the sheets…
The wall beside my dresser still illustrates the crack…
The black tee still bears the coffee stain…
And I still cannot find my pink charm bracelet.
This bed still hides a few secrets untold…
This cell phone still holds a few calls unanswered…
This library still conceals your letters…
And I still sometimes see you near my bed post.
A few words are still hard to say…
A few feelings are still hard to express…
A few dreams are still hard to let go off…
And a few hugs are still irreplaceable.
I still believe in strangers becoming best of friends…
I still believe my words make you shudder…
I still believe I’ve what it takes to bring you back…
And I still believe in YOU…!!!
“I’m Whipped”
Why do I have to make these choices…
Always forced to listen to theses voices…
Until all I hear is a mix of noises…!
I know you so well
When you feel any emotion I can tell
I can make what’s going through your head…
As soon as you enter the room…
I know what ticks you…
I know what clicks you…!
I know what secrets lurk in the depth of your laptop…
I know what is that think…
When you see my heena hands…
I know how you feel…
When you text me “thinking of you”…
At 3:24AM in the night…
And I know when you think of me…!
The only problem is…
That we can’t be together…
I can’t tell at all if you see me in your daydreams…
This of all is the scariest decision…
The risk of finding out and loosing my best friend…!
It’s like gambling a double or nothing…
Will I discover you really need me…
Or will I be left with no one to save me…
I wish someone would guide me in what to do…!
How to help me deserve you…
I know I can probably never match up to her…
She’s probably the perfect girl, tall with straight gorgeous hair…
How would I ever compare…
I can’t reveal to you how I feel…!
These voices tell me I should choose to conceal…
But my heart tells me I should choose to reveal…
How can I ever make you want me for real…!
Who do I turn to when you are the one…
I tell all my problems to…
When this time my problem is about you…!
My worst fear was revealed to me…
When you said I’ll be dancing at your wedding…
When I know in that case…
There will be tears I’ll be shedding…!
When I look at my invitation and read the heading…
With your name on it and the luckiest girl next to it…
How would I handle myself and go through with it…
Your gorgeous bride standing by your side…
Me watching in the crowd…
Pretending I’m the girl in white…
Knowing deep down this can’t possibly be right…
She will never feel for you the way I do…
Was she with you through all these times…
Would she write you all these rhymes…
Some may say I’m whipped…
I say I just care…!
Whenever I do something for you…
It’s my way to prepare…
For my imaginary future I have with you…
The one we’ll never have…
I know you are happy with her…
And I pray each day…
For this to continue…
You both have all my prayers…
For now just know…
I think I’ve fallen for my best friend…
One Chandler and Monica…
That can never be together…!
“For Now…” – Sequel to A Forbidden Encounter
Yellow roses…
Adorn her desk…
Yellow bangles…
Tease her senses…
Perhaps just not hers…
Her life has suddenly taken a detour…
Which she accepts…
She does not concur…!
Blushing away into oblivion…
Smiling for no reason at all…
Feeling beautiful in a middle of a hot day…
Is this all for real…?
This is not her…
A practical girl…
Who has always lived on her terms…
Now finds herself…
Strayed into a pair of
Prohibited arms…
Can this be all true…?
A girl like her…
Can she actually let go of her boundaries…?
To be with someone
She is forbidden to even dream of.
She finds herself…
Staring at the criss – cross lines…
Trying to figure…
If his name…
Might be hiding
Under the blankets of destiny.
No, he already belongs to someone else…
She cannot do this…
How can she even think…
Of hurting the one man she loves the most!
How can she be this selfish…
She keeps telling herself…
THIS TOO SHALL PASS…
But how will she ever…
Ward off his taste…
And push away his fragrance…
How perfectly he held her in his arms…
How perfectly her arms glided on his shoulders…!
How can she forget…
How he understands her darkest fears…
Just by her gait…
How can she ignore…
All the talks…
All the hours of endless sharing…
Each word uttered by him…
Secretly lives in her diary!
The trust she has is in him…
Carries a simple tune to her heart…
An emotional devotion…
A divine intervention…
She wishes everyday
To be self-centered enough
To ask him…
What he can never give.
She wants to know…
Can he put his hand in hers…
And go through life…
Leading each other to the light…
Till the end of time…!
Alas…
These are just dreams…
And hopeless antics…
That will take her no where…
For now she only wishes to be his Best Friend…
And be there for him…
Whenever he needs a hug…
A hug when the world is fast asleep…!
A love story that was only…
Meant to be written…
And not read…!
Legendary, and only told of in tales.
For now let me…
Hold onto your hand…
For tomorrow is to come…
With new battles to be fought…
And I want to be the one…
You turn to…
And talk your heart out…!