Date Archives October 2017

10 Things to Know to Dating a Developer

Are you a Programmer’s Girlfriend?
 
Did your Boyfriend profess his love to you in Python?
 
Does he change Coffee into Code?
 
Then I suggest you continue to read on.
 
First of all, allow me to congratulate you on your brave, brave feat, I mean you agreed to Date a Developer, you must be one strong woman.
 
Whether you call them Developers, Programmers, Coders or Software Engineers, they all have one thing in common, we love them unconditionally and they don’t deserve us. I mean don’t get me wrong, they are probably the most intelligent people on Earth but they sure hell don’t…well let’s not make it emotional. If you are a Proud Girlfriend to a Programmer then you need the following 101 in your life.
 
10. You are not their first love, not even the last.
He might say, you are his only girl but believe me he loves his laptop (or in this case his Alien ALIENWARE Work Station to be specific) more than he could ever love you. You will often find him smiling to himself looking at his screen, don’t worry, it’s not a female, it’s a new feature.
 
09. All they do is Code. Not even you.
Yes. Get over it. It’s a cycle, midnight coding, 03:00 AM coding, Friday night coding, just before a party coding. Even Victoria Secret cannot help you there!
 
08. They don’t have time for you.
The sooner you accept this the better it is. Get yourself a hobby. Focus on your career because even breaking your wrist isn’t going to get you the attention you probably deserve. He does not have time for you and he will make zero efforts about it. He expects you to understand his schedule, which is his ‘every day’ by the way.
 
07. No one else! 
The best thing about being a programmer’s girlfriend is the top-notch security that comes with the relationship. It’s not like he does not ache down there or has never surfed porn, or followed chicks on Instagram/Facebook, he just doesn’t have the time to cheat on you. That’s all!
 
06. Friends are the most important thing in the world.
So you thought, he’d spend the Saturday night with you because he completed his sprint? Ha Ha how naive of you! The only time he will ever message you is to tell you he is going out with his friends. His coder pals are more attractive than you could ever be! Best you hear it from me girl than him! 
 
05. He is very happy. Probably without you!
The thing with Programmers is that they are passionate about what they do and thus extraordinarily good at their jobs. They are successful, and make a lot of moolah and are completely satisfied in their lives. They often forget you are part of their happiness. You will be taken for granted and often forgotten.
 
04. Don’t expect a diamond. Ever!
If you like yellow roses, pearls or books or chocolates, I suggest you buy yourself a treat. It’s not about the money, they’d be happy to spend thousands on you but don’t ever expect a gift. But you know what? He’s creating you apps and websites all the time. Imagine having a boyfriend who gifts you a website, just think about all the money you’ll save on hosting! 
 
03. Patience is a virtue.
It’s also what’s going to help you live with a programmer. Breathe in. Breathe out. This won’t make things any better but it’ll help you get through the day! And mind you, countless of hours of debugging, they develop an astounding level of tolerance, a quality much valued in relationships.
 
02. You will soon be talking in programming languages.
You might never ever understand Laravel but you will surely start to understand HTML and may be even PHP. And you know what, when you do something relatively technologically competent, he’ll be all over you; he’d love you for loving what he does.
 
01. He is probably the worst boyfriend in the Milky Way Galaxy.
But believe me when I say, he is the best thing that has ever happened to you! Nothing in this world even compares to the love he has for you. I mean come on, remember the one time, when he left a text for you, “You are the CSS to my HTML”, I mean even Shakespeare can’t beat that!
 
No matter what happens, don’t stop loving him, even when loving becomes difficult and hating becomes easy.