As my world came tumbling down…
I turned around only to see you gone…
How could have you done this to me…
Abandoning me when the dark storm came rolling in…
And to think I thought I could trust you.
Often I cannot help wonder…
How could you be this cold-hearted?
Did it ever occur to you…?
You left me in the middle of nowhere…
And expected me to smile every time you needed me…?
It was my fault all along…
I was too comfortable with you…
I thought you’d never leave my side…
I believed every lie you ever told me…
And followed it like blind faith.
And today I find myself…
Trying to veil my tears under the covers…
Did it ever occur to you…?
How difficult it is to pretend everyday…
To see you completely happy without me…?
I miss the times when I could say anything to you…
And now every time I start to share a problem…
You take it as whining and complaining.
I miss the times when you were my best friend…
And I could be crazy with you…
And we had little secrets that nobody else knew…
And today you don’t even look at me the way you used to…
What kind of a connection did we share…?
Were the feelings fake…?
Was the concern only to last with the shitty contract…?
I am sitting here…
Crying my eyes out…
And I can’t even ask you for a hug…?
Is this is what I signed on for…?
I was fine on my own…
I was independent…
And then you came along…
Holding me firm through everything…
Making me feel I could rely on you no matter what…
And then you dropped me like a used piece of tissue…
Now I’m alone again…
But now it hurts…
Now standing through all the troubles…
Without your guidance and embrace…
Is walking on burning coal with bare feet.
I have to fight sleepless nights…
And this wicked world throughout the day…
Only to see you perfectly happy with another woman.
And I have to retreat into my shell…
Hide the pain away…
Try and save my tears…
To cry another day.
Did it ever occur to you…?
That I am still in love with you…?
That I did not only lose the man I love but also my best friend…?
Did it ever occur to you…?
That watching you with her and dancing around isn’t easy…?
Did it ever occur to you…?
That may be I don’t want to be your best friend anymore…
That you are asking too much off me…
That I can no longer watch you love her…
And criticize every breath I take…?
That I can no longer be available for you when you want me…
Especially when I can’t even call you up…
Until there is a death at my end.
I am not sure how long I can keep up with your prerequisites
Because all I see is you having the time of your life…
While your so-called best friend is drowning in front of your eyes.
