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Positivity Journal – Magic, Faith or Boohaki?

Family & Personal 2 Comments

I’ve come across a belief-system which dictates that if you continue to focus only on good things for 2 whole, weeks your brain re-shifts. This results in full-blown positivity which reflects in your decisions and day-to-day life. And if you happen to know me, you’d know the skeptic-me would be saying: Boohaki.

Nonetheless, I told myself, if I am trying out this whole, new perspective on my career why not do this as an experiment. Which will entitle me to advocate against it but with facts. All you need to do is write down 3 things/activities/experiences that brought you happiness that day. And in just 14 days, you will become a happier and a positive human being <insert eye-roll emoji here>. However, be mindful that a positivity journal is very different from a gratitude journal. The former creates a positive outlook while the latter teaches one compassion and appreciation.

I want to start this with January 14 as it just felt right to document my birthday. Here goes nothing:

  1. I had the best, birthday breakfast ever with my best friend.
  2. My girlfriend surprised me with the most thoughtful of experiences.
  3. My Mom had Ras Malai after years and savored every mouthful.

And that’s it, I’ll continue to document 2 weeks at the end of which I will share my findings with you all. Happy Weekend Everybody!

 

Isolation Diaries: Hello, Brave New World!

Books & Reading Business, Tech & Workplace Family & Personal People & More

Is it just me or did June fly by? Another month bites the dust as COVID-19 ravages through human civilization and we find ourselves between uncertainties upon uncertainties.

June was particularly difficult at home, June 17th meant Anas had been gone for 6 years. On the 18th, Areeb’s birthday as always was extremely awkward and soon it was Father’s Day!   

The precariousness of our times, leads to many wise and a few foolish decisions, for example, I decided not to buy more books up until I am absolutely sure of my finances. And then I decided to wax my underarms all by myself; I am sure you can filter the wise against the foolish on your own.

Work has been – well – when everything around is unprecedented, the one constant in my life has been my work and I am so grateful for it. Many of us continue to struggle with ends-meet and I feel privileged to be able to continue earning a living for the comfort of my home. Privilege – this word should hold new meaning in this ‘Brave, New World’ (thank you Aldous Huxley for that adequate term) for all of us.

For the last 4 to 6 weeks, there has been a constant inflow of information in regard to the #BlackLivesMatter movement. Although I come from a family where caste, creed and color does not decide how you are treated, sadly my culture dictates otherwise. 

I live in a country where daughters are weighed against the color of their skin and sons are measured against their monthly income. Structured Ignorance and Organized Racism prevails under the name of norm/tradition in Pakistan. And while Unilever – Fair & Lovely tried to address its brand name, Netflix shifted $100 million to Black-owned banks and the English Premier League printed ‘Black Lives Matter’ on players’ jerseys; our Mothers continue to hunt down the fairest maiden in the land. 

As businesses re-open across the country, my nation fails to pay heed to what the government and the WHO say. We can change democracies, ace Oxford/Harvard, beat England/Australia/South Africa/New Zealand at cricket, fight extremism, print 5.2 billion square meters worth of textiles but we cannot breathe through a mere 3 gram, non-woven polypropylene mask! When I see women in designer Lawn using iPhones at a Supermarket queue with no mask on, I feel compelled to stop and point. And I’ve done that on a handful of occasions but it still doesn’t seem to make an iota of difference.

Everyone is in a hurry to get back to the normal but what we fail to consider is that our negligence is only going to stretch this test further. I understand the economic downfall, I know we cannot stay at home any longer but would it hurt to wear a mask while doing groceries? Would it be the end of the world to let people pass through a narrow passageway and wait for your turn? Is it completely insane to maintain social distance in offices?

On bright side of things, Liverpool was crowned Champion(s) of England, I gave up on clean eating, organized my bookcases, watched all of Mahesh‘s movies, found a new favorite book and now TAX season is finally upon us, and as we say goodbye to a scorching June, we can only hope and pray that July brings what we call Herd Immunity.

I’d like to take this moment to acknowledge my privileges both in personal and professional capacities. And I vouch to continue to educate myself in and against Cultural, Economic Institutional, Sexual, Physical, Religious and Racial Discrimination in hopes that one day my daughter would not be required to send in her best-photograph for a match that is already made in heaven.

P.S. I broke my book-buying-ban of 3 months on June 18, 2020 but don’t worry, I donated 25 titles from my personal library and then bought only 5 new ones. But as Areeb says, “Sis, that justifies nothing…”. How is that my 22 year old, baby brother holds the sum of all that is true in the world today – nothing justifies, nothing! 

Isolation Diaries: PK8303 and Eid-ul-Fitr | Lockdown Day 64

Family & Personal People & More

Dear 2020,

Have you had enough already?

Amid a pandemic and global crisis, my nation is now bearing a national tragedy. And that too right before Eid-ul-Fitr, marking the end of the holy month of Ramadan. We lost many precious lives and for some out there, it was a loss of a lifetime. Eid this year was different to begin with, many of our traditions were to be held at home, online and in quarantine.

In my household, it has not been the same for many years now. After I lost my father to Multiple Myeloma in 2012 and my brother, Anas to a bike accident in 2014, Eid is more about prayers and missing them even more. So for my family, it wasn’t of a big change anyway. We washed, put on clean clothing, offered prayers, and made Pa and Anas’ favorite repast. And honestly, we prefer the simplicity and the essentialism of Eid.

I’ve been reading, some nasty comments on social media, criticizing people who dressed up for Eid. As long as you stayed indoors and were not responsible for an unnecessary congregation, who cares! To each with its own, we are already at the mercy of an outbreak, and we must do everything in our hands (literally) to keep our overall well-being at best. If you stayed in your pajamas all day long and binged Ertuğrul, that’s okay and if you wore a pair of 6-inch stilettos and posed for that perfect sun-kissed selfie up on the roof-top, that’s perfectly fine as well. Be kind. It is very easy to pour out negativity hiding behind a handle/username and it is impossible to comprehend an individual’s personal life from the outside.

In fact, my baby brother and I spent the day, splashing around the inflatable pool all afternoon and that was okay too. Although I think that made us miss Anas a whole lot more. Not to mention, the Biryani spread, reminded us of Pa’s annual Eid Day Party for our extended family. So, yes, it wasn’t perfect but it was everything to be grateful for.

Its been 64 days of lockdown, Mom is itching to go outside for things that do not involve life-saving drugs and pantry items. Areeb cannot focus on his curriculum anymore and I am scared to think the world might have switched to remote for good. Do you think our work-life will never be centralized again? shudders

 

MINIMALISM: The Joy of ONE

Minimalism & Sustainability

To live with less possessions has been my ultimate goal for a few years now. Unlike what others propose, I actually dream of sleeping in a bedroom with only a mattress, natural lighting and a nightstand; quintessential Minimalism – cliched but practical.

I’ve not only contemplated but also experienced the simplicity and the joy of owning only 1 of many things including life’s necessities. While to some this may sound extreme, owning one of each item has turned my life around; easy decisions, quick actions and quality pieces to name a few advantages.

I’ve been able to save up on time, energy and money for things that matter the most. During my journey, I realized that we possess ‘duplicates’ of almost everything in our homes, offices and lives. This wasn’t always an opportunity of joy. Owning 1 of each possession mean’t I’d be surrounded by things I loved the most, I was more intentional with the usage and it would mean I’d be making use of everything I own. “Love people and use things because the opposite never works” is the most shared quote from the Minimalism Film, and I completely agree.

So, here I am sharing with you, 25 things, I own only 1 of:

  1. Wristwatch – its sleek, its minimalist and I wear it everyday.
  2. Scrunchie – its a mauve satin, its soft, it does not leave kinks in my hair and is a cute wrist accessory.
  3. Hair Tool – a small hair dryer that my father got me years ago, and since I don’t heat-style my hair ever (may be once a year), it is more than enough for me.
  4. Skincare – I have 1 of each, a day cream, night cream, mask and an eye cream. I prefer simple skincare as opposed to a whole lot of products on my face.
  5. Beauty – I own 1 of each beauty product that I could possibly use including 1 BB cream, 1 bronzer, 1 eye-shadow quad, 1 eyeliner, 1 mascara, and most importantly 1 sunscreen.
  6. Bookmark – I own 1 bookmark which I absolutely love (and we will not be talking about the 1000 books lined up on my bookshelves).
  7. Phone Case – As opposed to my delinquent teenage years, I no longer own matching phone cases to my outfits, 1 clear, simple one suits me all year long.
  8. Handbag – Remember the days with 46 bags, well no more sweetheart, I technically own 4 but one is a day bag, the second is a crossbody, third is a backpack and the fourth is an evening clutch, one from each category serves me well.
  9. Traditional Festive Wear – Believe it or not, I own only 1 traditional, festive outfit that I use until the point, it is literally falling apart.
  10. Active Wear – I own a very good quality pair of leggings and sports bra from Lulu Lemon and it is more than what I need. It is expensive but the investment is completely worth it.
  11. Yoga Mat – 2 years ago, I purchased a good quality yoga mat, it has served me well and I do not plan to buy a new one anytime soon.
  12. Coffee Tumbler – I used to have 3 on-the-go tumblers but I ended up giving 1 to my brother and one to my bestie and now I am completely content with 1 that is my absolute favorite – no touchy!
  13. Stationery – I used to be a stationery monster and a religious diarist with everything you can imagine right from Disneyland to WarnerBros Studios to Paperchase and now I own 1 single, blue pointer that lives in my everyday handbag.
  14. Sunglasses – In one point of my life, I did have a sunglasses fetish but now I feel blessed owing only one but super quality, investment piece from Gucci.
  15. Strapless Bra – Why would you need more than 1 strapless bra?
  16. Wallet – Well thats nothing impressive is it? Everyone owns 1 wallet but I also have 1 credit card, 1 bank account, 1 key-chain and about 10 coffee reward cards from all over the city.
  17. Sneakers – I own 1 pair of sneakers and although I have had my eye on another style, who needs shoes now, walking is a thing of the past!
  18. Earphones – 1 pair and that is more than enough, I take care of them and cherish them.
  19. Brush and Comb – I own 1 of each, and it is like my personal and affordable hair salon which is accessible at all times.
  20. Anklet – Hell yeah just one baby! My entire jewelry collection now fits inside a Pandora Bracelet box and it makes me very proud.
  21. Laptop – Well this is a definitely cheat because I own 1 Windows (HP) laptop and 1 iOS (MacBook) but hey I earn my living off of them so I don’t mind.
  22. Hat – I own 1 straw-esque hat for those good, old days at the beach and I cannot wait to use it next Summer, fingers-crossed.
  23. Knick-knacks/Decor – I decluttered all of my decor items around 3 years ago and now adorning my bookcase is 1, little faux, potted Aloe Vera plant.
  24. Cleaner – Trust me all you need is 1 all-propose cleaner and the rest are just a marketing scam.
  25. Swimsuit – When you live in my part of the world, you will probably use some kind of swim-wear once or twice in your lifetime but for a water-baby like me this is definitely a good change.

There is a very good chance that I might be forgetting a few more things but for now this looks good. Someday, I’d also like to talk to about the things I own 2 of but now the ball is in your court. Tell me what things you only own 1 of? Or may be parts of your home, you’d like to delcutter? I’d love to hear. Ciao!

 

Meet My Millennial-esque Resume

Business, Tech & Workplace Minimalism & Sustainability

Ladies and gentlemen, please put your hands together for the ultimate millennial profile! It is soooo adorable, I just want you people to see it:

And before you question the un-readable font and my choice of colors, remember; we are the ones staying indoors during the pandemic, we are the ones who care for the planet, we are ones paying-off loans and we are the ones who save up for a menstrual cup so we can continue to reduce our carbon footprint. So, don’t judge! XX

Isolation Diaries: 18-hour Shifts, Epilators & A New Favorite Book | Lockdown Day 41

Books & Reading Business, Tech & Workplace Family & Personal

Hello! Long time no see. It has been completely manic lately and I feel utterly blessed. Its been 7 weeks of lockdown and while on one hand, we are finally accepting the ‘new normal’, lack of funds and resources are driving people off the edge.

In the midst of these uncharted times, I feel blessed beyond measure that I have some kind of work to earn a part of my livelihood, I know its not the same with everyone. During a Pandemic, business owners and/or product owners wear multiple hats; earlier as my role as a supervisor, I now find myself splitting my day into 11 different functions across 18 work hours which is definitely challenging but also gives me the opportunity to learn new crafts. Turns out, I can build tech products and tabulate a P&L report as well!

When I am not lost among a bunch of metrics, invoicing and Kanban moves; I occupy my breaks with helping around the house. Now that we are home all the time, I decided to finally give my mother what she always wanted – a daughter who can do more than just boil the water. I try to prepare Iftari – Blessed Meal and take care of mopping and dishes. But it doesn’t help much with Mom taking it easy, she feels that tenacious need to do-over everything I just did. May be I am not doing it right or may be she is just being a Mother.

As I scrub down the floor, my baby brother often walks by and elucidates on how I am turning into a Gorilla thanks to all the extra ‘fuzz’ on my body. Two more weeks and I’ll be growing a beard. Years ago, my father was wonderful to get me a Braun Silk Epil that has continued to be my savior but once you go Wax, nothing else comes close! And as much as I hate to admit it, I miss my brow-lady and that familiar feeling of smooth, smooth underarms.

So work is erratic, TV is down, my Tech Lead wants “Flexible Hours”, vinyl gloves are running out, new books on Kindle are $10.99 a piece, Mom thinks I need to get married during Quarantine (as it would be easy to take a leave of absence from work *facepalm*), Areeb wants to have a BBQ party with his friends up on a rooftop which of course Mom forbids and I have absolutely no idea what to do about my growing love handles! All in all, we’ve air in our lungs, potatoes in the pantry and free movies on YouTube, couldn’t be more grateful.

And just when I thought my inability to concentrate on a book was spiralling out of control, I found a new favorite book! That’s right, imagine me advocating a book which is not ‘Anne Frank: The Diary of a Young Girl’ or ‘Animal Farm’ or ‘Ghachar Ghochar‘ or the ‘Cormoran Strike Books‘; I fell completely in love with ‘A Gentleman in Moscow‘ by Amor Towles. This book is inspiring, smooth and sparkling filled with hope, perseverance, ingenuity and impeccable manners amid isolation. It felt like the most appropriate story for these testing times. I got my copy from Liberty Books and it is also available on Kindle, highly recommend it. And now back to our regular scheduled whining…

As Rachel said, “The nights are the hardest. But then the day comes and that’s every bit as hard as the night. And then the night comes again…”; I think that’s the one feeling that we all share right now, all it took was 1 pandemic to bring the human race together like never before. Everyday we wake-up, work, eat and sleep in the same surrounding and yet we are confronted with life’s greatest challenges – ranging from tackling the bills on the counter to deciding Saturday night’s movie/film pick.

If you are still reading my babble, I hope you are taking care of yourself and I pray that this ordeal will soon come to an end with nothing but the good and pure remaining.

 

Isolation Diaries: A Millennial Dealing with Quarantine and a Reading Slump | Lockdown Day 25

Books & Reading

I have not only joined an online course, tried my hand at cooking, organised my bookshelves but also gave my baby brother a very questionable haircut; I am a Millennial dealing with isolation during a Pandemic.

#WorkFromHome has not entirely been traumatising even when the business has seen better days. Mom’s health hasn’t been all too well lately but she is holding up like a champion, not to mention my brother has managed to track down many family heirlooms in the last few weeks. As a family, we’ve managed to squeeze our expenses, rid myself of a few mistakes but uncertainty continues to loom as new cases surface with each morning.

In the midst of trying to plank the curve, I’ve been hit with what I am terming as a ‘Reading Slump’ but it could be entirely something different. I’ve been keeping my mood swings, eating habits and exercising patterns in check but have sadly failed when it comes to reading. For someone who looks forward to finding some precious time over the weekend to read, the idea of a lockdown sounded aspiring. Every year I try to read as much as possible; setting up a GoodReads goal; squeezing in a few pages every chance I get; during work commute, during lunch hour, before hitting the hay etc. Reading is not a mere hobby but rather a form of self-expression for me. I’ve was once caught secretly reading at a cousin’s wedding whilst she said “I Do” – so you get the gist right?

I also made use of the first week of lockdown with much success and read around a dozen books but for the past few weeks, I haven’t been able to read, I look onto my shelves, admire my TBR pile, add titles to my wishlist on Amazon but I cannot seem to find myself get lost inside a book. Often I find myself reaching the bottom of the page only to realize I haven’t the foggiest of what I’ve just read.

Given what is happening outside the comfort of my home, is this feeling completely normal? Is the isolation getting to me? I was under the impression that as long as I keep making ends-meet, I will be sane and will not let these uncharted times effect me but was I wrong to think I’ll be immune to a global, mind shift?

The TBR on my nightstand is collecting dust (hypothetically – I dust voraciously) while I scroll through Twitter for the umpteenth time. And I don’t know how to overcome this situation. I guess, we are all struggling to focus right now and surviving a global pandemic is certainly not a cake walk.

If you are reading this, here is a little prayer for you, I know its difficult and what you are struggling  with right now – too shall pass. I hope things will get better for you and your loved ones. Here’s to a better time ahead!

Isolation Diaries: 2 Weeks of Uncertainty, Books & Extremism | Lockdown Day 15

Business, Tech & Workplace People & More

Ladies and gentlemen, I am happy to announce that we’ve made it through 2 whole weeks of lockdown without murder, mayhem and only a few breakdowns.

It’s been over 2 weeks for ‘work from home’ and I am starting to lose it – seriously. I miss my office, my team, my desk and the fact I’ve zero tickets to resolve and zero moves on my Kanban board is driving me crazy.

Last Friday, I had my first, official nervous breakdown and I can no longer feel the ‘positive vibes’. People say, all this will end soon and we will go back to our normal lives. Does nobody realize that things will never be the same again. Hasn’t history taught us nothing? Take both the World Wars for instance, did we not witness a global shift? Or the Bubonic Plague and even the Spanish Flu, such pandemics lead only to far-ranging consequences that we cannot even begin to comprehend.

The COVID-19 outbreak has transformed our lives, disrupted markets, exposed political and economical incompetence. This could also very well mean the end of globalization and clearly a shift in the international power structure; from West to East. We are headed for a future with vulnerability and stiffer purse-strings.

Corporations, companies and even small businesses will rethink their decisions, partners and strategies. We will see lower profits but perhaps with much more stable and domestic backup plans plus reserves.

One thing is for sure, nothing will ever be the same again and in the midst of all this uncertainty, we need to find a way to “adjust” to the new normal. What actually bothers me is that I cannot even start to work to such habituating. This time space between isolation and working towards the adjustment is killing me.

In other news, I packed away over 700 books for sale and donation over the weekend, kept only my favorites (I think 379) and resolved to switch to e-Reading. I guess Quarantine does things to you!  Don’t get me wrong, this was not an impulsive move, my theory is, I will save more and hoard less when I opt for eBooks. According to my family, my decision will vanish once the Pandemic ends.

Moreover, I did catch-up with Manifest, I am not good at following TV shows especially after FRIENDS or Arrow but I just want to know what happened to Montego Air Flight 828!!! Is that too much to ask??? I’ve also tried a couple of recipes, managed to workout 11 days out of 15, and somehow kept my skincare game up. Am I doing isolation right? Haven’t baked or made Dalgona coffee or enrolled in any online course yet though.

I work from 09:00 AM to 06:00 PM, Monday to Friday, adhere to a routine, constantly look for opportunities, workout in the morning, consume healthy-esque meals and worry about sagging. But nothing works; precariousness eats me from the inside.

And just like everyone else in the Bookstagram or BookTube community, I too was thrilled to have all this time to read and I managed to complete a dozen books in about 10 days but for some reason since April walked in, I don’t feel the inclination. And I guess, I’ve nothing more to say.

Here’s hoping you are doing your best to stay indoors and attempting sanity. And its perfectly all right if you don’t walk out of this pandemic with a brand new set of skills. You are doing fine. We are fine. For This Too Shall Pass...

 

 

 

Isolation Diaries: Tough Times, Tougher Decisions | Lockdown Day 12

Business, Tech & Workplace Family & Personal People & More

It has been close to 2 weeks to a lockdown in my province and things are not looking up. New cases surface every day, few people understand the meaning of social distancing and the rest can’t help but grapple with daily existence.

It has been difficult for both ends of the spectrum; tough decisions for employers and tougher realities for resources. I had to take a few unpleasant calls and come to terms with what I like to call “my career choices”. After all who needs a career in a recession right? (I’ve already stocked up on Potatoes and Condensed Milk). The very first step is to obviously tabulate savings against spending habits, followed by some serious but futile thought-process.

The good thing is my panic-attacks don’t dwell for long, I am able to quickly look away and engage in something productive like updating my resume, hunt for opportunities, watch Tutorials on Software Development or most likely open my blog and start writing.

Sweet lime juice, yoga, my TBR pile, YouTube tutorials and the fact that my baby brother and I watch cartoons every night at 07:30 PM continues to soothe my senses. If only reading made you money, am I right? I thought this would be my time to read everything that I had been putting off but turns out, when you are under constant trepidation of a draconian future, reading seems more like cheating on your responsibilities.

I’ve been utterly blessed with a family who is grateful of the fact that I am home, and my Mom constantly tells me to shut-down my laptop and instead read on the couch. But it doesn’t help with noggin and the constant thinking; the overthinking, never-ending planning and freaking out scenarios!

As soon as I am done posting this blog post, I am going to go down, fight over the remote with my baby brother, have a wholesome, home-cooked meal and then read into the afternoon but that constant “Where will the next paycheck come from” feeling doesn’t go away. Do you feel the same way? I am not really expecting an answer but just sending out my thoughts into the universe, is it the same for everyone out there?

No one knows when this pandemic will end and we cannot even begin to comprehand the lasting financial impact. We can only control what can be controlled, like discretionary spending, prioritize and do what’s best for our family. Right Pa?

Isolation Diaries: 3 Things I Will NOT be Doing Amid COVID-19 Pandemic | Lockdown Day 8

Family & Personal Movies & Entertainment People & More

Yes, its dark and daunting, yes we’ve all the time in the world and yes its all about mental well-being but here are 3 things that I refuse to indulge in, no matter what!

Join TikTok

No. Nopes. Nada. Never! I will not be joining the infamous, video-sharing social networking service unless ByteDance decides to donate billions worth of canned food or fund mass production of COVID-19 vaccine.

Binge Watch Netflix

I no longer harbour the patience and perseverance required to watch a complete TV show. Those 15 minute compilations of ‘Top Olicity Moments’ over atYouTube are enough to quench my thirst of angst!

Redecorate

I will not give in to a home renovation project – irrespective of what my mother thinks! Do not have the head-space or the money to do so. I will leave furnishings and ornaments to the expert influencers over at Instagram.

Let me impose the gravity of the situation on to you (my reader), we are NOT STUCK inside, we are choosing to save lives. And we can do just about anything to keep ourselves occupied, entertained and in good spirits. But that does not mean that you will see me in a lip-sync video anytime soon!

P.S.

Work from Home Day: 12
Lockdown Day: 08
Books Read during Isolation: 9
Books Read in March: 12
Recipes Tested: 04
Floors Mopped Day Count: 08
Exercise Day Count: 07
Old Movies: 04
New Movies: 02
Breakdowns: 04