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“It was never meant to be…”

It was never meant to be…
She knew it all along…
But something inside stirred her amiss…
It was never meant to be…
He wasn’t planning to go off course…
And yet he never wanted more…
It wasn’t that he whispered sweet nothings in her ear…
Or knitted tales of promises he wouldn’t keep…
It wasn’t that she ignited his senses…
Or directed his ache…
But it was never meant to be!
Bound by words…
Strung up for no reason…
She walked past by him…
To escape this heat…
This forbidden wish…
Distracting giggles…
Innocent leaning…
Just to discredit the obvious…
And yet all it takes was his hand…
Reaching out for her arm…
And all her rules blur into oblivion…
It was never meant to be…
And yet he was ready to teach her a lesson of a lifetime!
An embrace to remember…
Crushing her soul…
Casting a spell of taste so real…
It was never meant to be…
Yet he drew her in…
Soft kisses…
Drinking her innocence…
Like the master he was…
His hands run along her back
Gently gripping the skin beneath…
Her false protests…
Invite him to map his intentions down her neck…
It was never meant to be…
But the orange lip balm played its part right…
And she could feel his desire burn through next to her thighs…
Her body vibrates with exhilaration…
He provokes an arched back…
And trails down to her corset…
Spilling her bosom…
Curing her toes…
It was never meant to be…
And yet he made sure she was breathless…
His fingers work like acid…
Around her curves…
And ensured she had nowhere to go…
She moans his name over and over…
And he smiles to himself of his skills…
Just as she expected…
He lured her into dark dungeonesque places…
Caught between submission and power…
She never felt so close to death…
And yet so alive…
And yet it was never meant to be!
The control will eventually cloud her judgement…
As dark clouds hover over the city…
This momentarily union comes to a halt…
Held and entwined…
He pulls her hair back…
And with a final kiss…
Steals her last ounce of morals…
A gasp escapes her parched lips…
Leaving her with a forever longing…
For him to come and give her release!

“These Bad-Boy-Gentlemen…”

I seek your rough touch…
One that will leave me weak and yearning…
My lips exhibit a faint smile…
As I recover from your ravenous moves…
Until you return for a second helping.
As I shake in our sheets…
Shiver under your claws…
You continue to push the throttle.
You find no need to tell the world…
Of our congress…
No need to put on a show…
And hide behind all the lies.
I am the naïve girl from next door…
And you are the bad boy I need…
You play distant and I play easy.
The vile words that fall from your bluestocking…
Press onto me…
And push buttons only you can see…
Scrape out malicious intentions I never knew I had.
You hold the door out for me…
Stepping through…
I notice your sly smirk…
As you wait for a moment or two…
Before you join me in oblivion…
I sink my fingernails in your shoulder blades…
And hold on tight…
Because when these…
Bad-boy-gentlemen types…
With rolled up grey sleeves…
Decide to make love…
They leave you breathless…
Make you relinquish control…
The way the others will…
Never be able to!

Perpetually Petrified.

Perpetually petrified.

I am a yellow-belly.

Am a scardy-cat.

A total wimp!

A friend of mine recently told me that I happen to be the most chicken-hearted person he has met. Not that it brought any news to me but it got me thinking. Was I always this scared or am I at the ‘liberty’ to blame my ‘situation’ for such a state of mind. May be I have always been like so, I mean, I remember waking up to nightmares since I was 7 something. O! Wait isn’t that an entirely different kind of scared?

For as long as I remember, I have never been afraid to speak my mind, getting my own way or fighting for what I believe in. Does that count?

Do I have to be brave at work or just in my personal life?

Does winning a mighty contract at the hands of wicked-men count for something?

Or being courageous is only about having the nerve to tell life to just fuck off…?

I am scared of heights.

I have never been able to use a diving board.

I cannot do a horror movie.

I panic easy.

My brothers easily freak me out with minimal efforts.

Even complete strangers on motorbikes without helmets manage to leave me jittery.

I am frightened at the very concept of losing a loved one.

Does being brave involve one to take risks? My father always said: Business is nothing but a risky race. And if you sit on the sidelines…someone is going to beat you to the finishing line.

Did my friend mean the same?

Am I too comfortable in my life to take risks?

Am I frightened to even imagine a different kind of existence?

Am I spineless?

You know what may be he was right. I mean, I cannot possibly imagine thinking of messing up situation any further. But what I don’t understand is how on earth, am I going to come across as bold and daring by putting someone else in danger…???

For the last few years, my extended family has bestowed a certain title upon me; lovingly call me – stone-hearted. And just because I didn’t cry at my father’s funeral or my brother’s for that matter.

Was I supposed to breakdown and cry right in the middle of my mother losing consciousness and brothers returning from the graveyard? And if I didn’t – means I did not love my father enough. Were my dry eyes a sign of my cowardice?

Was unplugging my brother from his life support an out and out act of horror-struck? Was I losing my wits? Should I have done something like tell the doctors to fuck off and perhaps extended his existence on earth? Would have that made me fearless?

I just don’t understand what do I have to do to be courageous? Risk it all??? Would that help??? But I don’t have much to put at stake and does that permit me to put the remaining half of my family at a possible threat?

See even here; all I can do is present possible excuses instead of just shutting up and taking the plunge! I am just trying to understand the reason behind it all. I used to be this spontaneous and adventurous girl drive entirely on the ratio of adrenaline in her body. I was always and forever open to experimenting and I don’t recall shying away from a ‘situation’ (If you know what I mean). Then why now? Am I getting too old for the action? (Did I just blame my age for my actions? Okay, I do have problems). But seriously does age actually stop you from being a madcap? Or is it just another excuse?

You know as far as I understand this; perhaps the reason is fairly simple. I am driven on my emotions now as opposed to my wits as earlier. But does that truly make me a paper tiger?

I will perhaps continue to be a “phatoo” (as he puts it) but I know one thing for sure…I refuse to go down without a fight. And if it’s any consolation – my dramatic hand gestures always manage to pull me back.

Early Morning Inklings – VIII

So those of you who know me…know the time during my commute is dedicated entirely to the physical act of reading! (Those of you who did not get the FRIENDS’ reference…well I don’t know what you are doing with your life).

Well getting back to the point, so in accordance to my routine, I had my nose in a book and then all of a sudden, a few words etched my mind…

“In his silence I learnt his intentions…”

And I just knew I had to put it in ink…

According to my dear, dear friend V., I can pen kick-ass prose but I should just stay away from poetry for the sake of human civilization! =P

In spite of his many heated warnings, I hereby submit my yet another neophyte attempt at poetry:

It was a question I had worn on my lips for days…In his hesitation I found my answer…
He knew how to unravel my soul and dwindle my senses…In his silence I learnt his intentions…
He drew a convoluted map onto my skin…With his invincible stain I found my way out…
He knew his way around the treacherous paths…In his skills I gathered his notorious past…
He sketched his dark castle at the great precipice…In his oubliette I discovered eternal light
He decided to leave an imprint for others to witness…Within his grasp I earned an immoral label…
I was relieved.
He was disappointed.
Another question lingering on the edge of my existence…In his absence I received his verdict.

My Resolutions for the Year 2016

Good Evening Everyone!

My new year typically starts from my birthday (January 14) just something I have believed in for a very long time. And every year a few hours before my birthday, I establish my resolutions for the rest of the year. Normally they consist of my personal and professional goals like becoming a published author or a world famous publicist or even manipulating Steven Gerrard into having an extra martial affair with me. But let’s get real; as long as I am alive and breathing in this society, I am never ever getting one of those. Chauvinist males, and worried mothers will never permit me to go further in my career and Alex Gerrard is way too hot to cheat on! So this year, I’ve decided to keep it relatively simple.

Here we go folks…

10) Get married.

09) Tie the knot.

08) Get hitched.

07) Jump the broom.

06) Say ‘I Do’.

05) Walk down the aisle.

04) Get spliced.

03) Go ball and chain.

02) Make it legal.

01) To read as many books as I possibly can before all the above. (You never know who you’ll end up with).

I am going to put my heart and soul into sticking to my resolutions and I hope you do too with yours.

P.S – Don’t feel too bad for me. Many girls in my country don’t even know the difference between a ‘wedding’ and ‘marriage’. Most of them don’t know how to spell this life-long voyage.

Cheers!

My Top Ten Books of 2015

It is that time of the year folks when I reveal my top reads of the year and keeping with the tradition, I am picking out my 10 favourite titles from my reading year.

And as always the following books are in no particular order. So, let’s get into it! I read a total of 65 books in 2015 accumulating to 18,394 pages (Source: Goodreads) and my first pick from the year is definitely ‘Redshirts’ by John Scalzi. This book was witty, clever and completely unpredictable. You will never know what hit you and I was taken aback by its smart plot. It is basically a science fiction and fantasy combined into a unique format that will leave you shocked but in a good way.

Next is the latest book by one of my favourite authors, ‘Canary’ by Duane Swierczynski. And once again he managed to charm the hell out of me, I was able to get my hands on an advance readers’ copy and I was blown by the sheer simplicity of the plot weaved into complex characters. You will question every move throughout the book and the ‘almost romance’ scenes are just too beautiful for words! An ideal contemporary thriller from Philadelphia!

My next pick was something, I was convinced, I was not going to enjoy but I did and a lot. My days of Chick-Literature ended with my University days and now I am unable to digest them. But ‘Smart Girls Get What They Want’ by Sarah Strohmeyer was a fresh surprise. I was able to immediately relate to the main character because I could understand her teen years’ angst and I will gladly recommend it to any girl of my age because of its brilliant storyline.

Next in line is a spooky book called ‘Your Heart Belong to Me’ by Dean Koontz. This was my first Koontz read and I actually loved it. The book is not to be read alone at night but the genius of it will not let you put the book down. I am actually confused as to why I liked it so much but I am going to stick to my review and recommend it to all suspense lovers.

Up next is ‘Eleanor & Park’ by Rainbow Rowell. I have yet to meet a person who read this book and did not like it. I enjoyed the plot and the story-build myself but its ending just took my heart away. It is a beautiful coming-of-age story with realistic characters you can relate to and at once grow a liking for them.

The next book is a very predictable name in the list and this is ‘The Girl on the Train’ by Paula Hawkins. This was probably the most talked book in 2015 and people termed it as the “Gone Girl of this Year”. I beg to differ, I thoroughly enjoyed it but it stands nowhere near Ms. Flynn’s book. You will enjoy this read to the very last page and it also makes a wonderful present.

‘Death on the Nile’ by Agatha Christie has managed to find a place amongst my all-time favourite reads. If it is a book by the ‘Queen of Crime’, I am bound to enjoy but this one was special owing to its Egypt background and fantastic build up to the climax. I actually knew who was behind it all but Christie makes you question even your strongest instincts. And my beloved Hercule Poirot was as always, simply magnifique!

A great, big thank you to E. L. James for penning Grey! I have always told my best friend that ‘The Fifty Shades of Grey’ was more of a Christian Story than of Ana Steele and James proved me right. Grey was intense, humane and just thoroughly entertaining. Reading Christian’s perspective was far more insightful than Ana’s for sure.

Another Agatha Christie mystery swept me off my feet this year, ‘The Mysterious Affair at Styles’ also happens to be Hercule Poirot’s first appearance as the Belgian Detective. Poirot’s inquest was ingenious as usual and the loveable Hastings was delightfully vivid. If you are in the mood for a quintessential ‘whodunit’ then go for this masterpiece!

My last book of the year is also my last top read of the year, ‘Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm’ by Kate Douglas Wiggin. Everyone who knows me knows my favourite classic is ‘Animal Farm’ and I intend to make the whole word read it but this one has certainly has become the book, I will gift my daughter when she turns 12. It is an exemplary American Literature that every girl needs to read while group up!

P.S – I have a fever and a bad case of dry cough. Pardon if you found this blog piece, extremely boring and hushed.

And as always, Happy Reading to You!

Bajirao Mastani: Gorgeous but Muted!

As I always say before I write a movie review, “Beware, I am not a movie critic” but I just admire Anu Aunty too much to not pen one down. I might be a little late to offer my opinion but here goes…

As you all know, ‘Bajirao Mastani’ is Sanjay Leela Bhansali’s dream project and it took him 15 years and multiple castings to turn it into a reality. We would have probably seen Rani Mukherjee as ‘Kashibai’…don’t get me wrong, Priyanka Chopra was divine in the portrayal and I will get to that shortly.

As with his past projects, you can expect nothing less than grandeur in this movie but you already know of this thanks to perfectly edited teasers and trailers. So, let’s get into the nitty-gritties of the movie. First of all, let’s make one thing very clear; Chopra does not play a supporting-role in the story. I don’t understand why people have been saying, she has fewer scenes. Her role of a devoted wife lifts the screen and her one line: “Aap Humse Humari Zindagi Maang Lete Hum Aap Ko Khushi Khushi De Dete, Par Aapne Toh Humse Humara Guroor Cheen Liya…” describes her woeful tale in one go. Her confrontation scene with Padukone’s character ‘Mastani’ is brutal as well as poetic and allows us to understand that a butchered wife is just a wife after all be it in any era. Her performance is cinematically convincing and still very much human.

I think everyone will agree with the fact that throughout the movie, Deepika Padukone is simply and positively glowing! Hats off to Gabriel Georgiou who managed to give that ethereal glow aiding her character’s portrayal. Padukone herself is hypnotic and I know for a fact that her couplets/verses will be popular amongst the fans for a very long time. My particular favourite is the one where she submits to her secondary fate to Bajirao: “Ishq, Jo Tufani Duniya Se Bagawat Karjaye Woh Ishq, Bharay Darbar Mein Jo Duniya Se Lad Jaae Woh Ishq, Jo Mehboob Ko Dekhe Toh Khuda Ko Bhul Jaae Woh Ishq…”. Her stunts are no doubt fascinating but in my opinion, her role does not offer much to her other than playing a Muslim girl in love with a Hindu Prince. Apart from her fight sequence in the first half, the remainders of her scenes only show one emotion, one motive. I know, I know that’s what the role was but more could be done with the same emotion except narrating couplets and punch lines. But I must confess, some of them will go down in Bollywood history including:

Mastani: “Patni to Radha bhi nahi thi, lekin Krishna ke saath log yaad use hi karte hain.”
Mastani’s Mother: “Wo bhagwan the!”
Mastani: “Aur ishq ibadat. Ibadat ke liye ijazat nahi li jaati.”

Mastani to Kashibi when she visits Mastani Mahal: “Aapne yaha aa ke Bundelkhand ki is najayaz beti ko sindoor jitna jayaz bana diya.”

Ranveer Singh plays “Peshwa Bajirao I” and yes he has managed to do justice to the role. His dramatic dialogue delivery is more convincing in comparison to his warrior scenes. His intensity is exquisite when it comes to portraying the defenceless man torn between his wife and his love. His most remembered scene will be the one with his mother “Radhabai” played by Tanvi Azmi. How he leaves his thrown for Mastani is no doubt nothing short of brilliance. Just like in Ram Leela, his portrayal of intoxication is award-winning!

Now let’s get to the movie first of all, I would like to point out that the tagline of the movie is misleading. I was hoping to see a love story of Peshwa Bajirao but instead I only came across his marital and domestic problems. If we remove the tagline and do not pay much heed to the actual history then the movie is elegiac and a theatrical masterpiece.

The movie evidently does depict Bajirao’s struggles but sheds very little on his relationship with Mastani. I mean the iconic dialogue of Bajirao: “Baajirao Ne Mastani Se Mohabbat Ki Hai Aiyashi Nahi…” is perhaps the only romantic notion in the movie apart from a few hugs amongst the lead pair.

My favourite scene in the entire movie however is delivered by Padukone only where she defends how the colours red and green are not limited to Hinduism and Islam respectively. Personal Note to Mr. Bhansali, thank you for writing this scene; no one could have done it better. However, I am not happy with your decision of the poster; Chopra’s character deserved equal standing. This film equally belongs to her as it does to Singh and Padukone.

Shades of Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam, Devdas and Ram Leela appear frequently throughout the length of the movie, especially the music. And references to Mughal-e-Azam are lyrically weaved into the story. However there is nothing more to the story other than an unnecessary overload of costumes, bedrooms and boudoirs. The movie misses a plot and the screenplay seems to be incomplete at various points. The climax is a bit-too-stretched without any logic and you find yourself not fully satisfied. All in all – the movie offers glory and elegance of 1700s but lacks substance and proves to be over-ambitious.

P.S – In spite of everything else the movie has managed to do exactly what Veer Zaara did! The two names will forever be remembered together by all Bollywood fans and just not by historians or scholars.

Living in San Francisco

He’ll want to use your yacht, and I don’t want this thing smelling like fish. Steve Holt! No! I was ashamed to be SEEN with you. I like being with you. Marry me. It’s called ‘taking advantage.’ It’s what gets you ahead in life. I’m a monster. Army had half a day. I don’t criticize you! And if you’re worried about criticism, sometimes a diet is the best defense.

I’m afraid I just blue myself.

First place chick is hot, but has an attitude, doesn’t date magicians. Really? Did nothing cancel? Well, what do you expect, mother? Michael!

Really? Did nothing cancel? Did you enjoy your meal, Mom? You drank it fast enough. Not tricks, Michael, illusions. That’s what it said on ‘Ask Jeeves.’ Really? Did nothing cancel?

“IT’S SIMPLE UNTIL YOU MAKE IT COMPLICATED”JASON FRIED, 37SIGNALS

Now, when you do this without getting punched in the chest, you’ll have more fun. Whoa, this guy’s straight? It’s a hug, Michael. I’m hugging you. Well, what do you expect, mother? I’m afraid I just blue myself.

Guy’s a pro. Get me a vodka rocks. And a piece of toast. I don’t criticize you! And if you’re worried about criticism, sometimes a diet is the best defense. Did you enjoy your meal, Mom? You drank it fast enough.

It’s called ‘taking advantage.’ It’s what gets you ahead in life. I’ve opened a door here that I regret. Marry me. Guy’s a pro.

THE PHILOSOPHY BEHIND

Steve Holt! No, I did not kill Kitty. However, I am going to oblige and answer the nice officer’s questions because I am an honest man with no secrets to hide. I don’t criticize you! And if you’re worried about criticism, sometimes a diet is the best defense.

Army had half a day. Marry me. We just call it a sausage.

Guy’s a pro. Now, when you do this without getting punched in the chest, you’ll have more fun. He’ll want to use your yacht, and I don’t want this thing smelling like fish. We just call it a sausage. I don’t criticize you! And if you’re worried about criticism, sometimes a diet is the best defense.

No! I was ashamed to be SEEN with you. I like being with you. There’s so many poorly chosen words in that sentence. No… but I’d like to be asked! Whoa, this guy’s straight?

There’s so many poorly chosen words in that sentence. Now, when you do this without getting punched in the chest, you’ll have more fun. No… but I’d like to be asked! There’s only one man I’ve ever called a coward, and that’s Brian Doyle Murray. No, what I’m calling you is a television actor.

STAY HUNGRY, STAY FOOLISH.STEVE JOBS

Guy’s a pro. I care deeply for nature. What’s Spanish for “I know you speak English?” First place chick is hot, but has an attitude, doesn’t date magicians. Whoa, this guy’s straight? Whoa, this guy’s straight?

No, I did not kill Kitty. However, I am going to oblige and answer the nice officer’s questions because I am an honest man with no secrets to hide. Not tricks, Michael, illusions. That’s why you always leave a note!

Across from where? I’m afraid I just blue myself. No… but I’d like to be asked! Guy’s a pro. What’s Spanish for “I know you speak English?”

Hipster painter.

Oh, you’re gonna be in a coma, all right. I care deeply for nature. I care deeply for nature. I’m a monster. I don’t criticize you! And if you’re worried about criticism, sometimes a diet is the best defense.

No… but I’d like to be asked! It’s a hug, Michael. I’m hugging you. There’s only one man I’ve ever called a coward, and that’s Brian Doyle Murray. No, what I’m calling you is a television actor.

You’ve swallowed a planet! Stop talking, brain thinking. Hush. It’s art! A statement on modern society, ‘Oh Ain’t Modern Society Awful?’! No… It’s a thing; it’s like a plan, but with more greatness.

Saving the world with meals on wheels. Did I mention we have comfy chairs? I am the last of my species, and I know how that weighs on the heart so don’t lie to me! No, I’ll fix it. I’m good at fixing rot. Call me the Rotmeister. No, I’m the Doctor. Don’t call me the Rotmeister.

Sorry, checking all the water in this area; there’s an escaped fish. I hate yogurt. It’s just stuff with bits in. Aw, you’re all Mr. Grumpy Face today.

Better Readability

I hate yogurt. It’s just stuff with bits in. You’ve swallowed a planet! They’re not aliens, they’re Earth…liens! Did I mention we have comfy chairs? Father Christmas. Santa Claus. Or as I’ve always known him: Jeff.

I’m nobody’s taxi service; I’m not gonna be there to catch you every time you feel like jumping out of a spaceship. Sorry, checking all the water in this area; there’s an escaped fish. It’s art! A statement on modern society, ‘Oh Ain’t Modern Society Awful?’!

It’s art! A statement on modern society, ‘Oh Ain’t Modern Society Awful?’! Did I mention we have comfy chairs? Did I mention we have comfy chairs? All I’ve got to do is pass as an ordinary human being. Simple. What could possibly go wrong?

Heh-haa! Super squeaky bum time! You hit me with a cricket bat. Annihilate? No. No violence. I won’t stand for it. Not now, not ever, do you understand me?! I’m the Doctor, the Oncoming Storm – and you basically meant beat them in a football match, didn’t you?

Simple in Maine

He’ll want to use your yacht, and I don’t want this thing smelling like fish. Steve Holt! No! I was ashamed to be SEEN with you. I like being with you. Marry me. It’s called ‘taking advantage.’ It’s what gets you ahead in life. I’m a monster. Army had half a day. I don’t criticize you! And if you’re worried about criticism, sometimes a diet is the best defense.

I’m afraid I just blue myself.

First place chick is hot, but has an attitude, doesn’t date magicians. Really? Did nothing cancel? Well, what do you expect, mother? Michael!

Really? Did nothing cancel? Did you enjoy your meal, Mom? You drank it fast enough. Not tricks, Michael, illusions. That’s what it said on ‘Ask Jeeves.’ Really? Did nothing cancel?

“IT’S SIMPLE UNTIL YOU MAKE IT COMPLICATED”JASON FRIED, 37SIGNALS

Now, when you do this without getting punched in the chest, you’ll have more fun. Whoa, this guy’s straight? It’s a hug, Michael. I’m hugging you. Well, what do you expect, mother? I’m afraid I just blue myself.

Guy’s a pro. Get me a vodka rocks. And a piece of toast. I don’t criticize you! And if you’re worried about criticism, sometimes a diet is the best defense. Did you enjoy your meal, Mom? You drank it fast enough.

It’s called ‘taking advantage.’ It’s what gets you ahead in life. I’ve opened a door here that I regret. Marry me. Guy’s a pro.

THE PHILOSOPHY BEHIND

Steve Holt! No, I did not kill Kitty. However, I am going to oblige and answer the nice officer’s questions because I am an honest man with no secrets to hide. I don’t criticize you! And if you’re worried about criticism, sometimes a diet is the best defense.

Army had half a day. Marry me. We just call it a sausage.

Guy’s a pro. Now, when you do this without getting punched in the chest, you’ll have more fun. He’ll want to use your yacht, and I don’t want this thing smelling like fish. We just call it a sausage. I don’t criticize you! And if you’re worried about criticism, sometimes a diet is the best defense.

No! I was ashamed to be SEEN with you. I like being with you. There’s so many poorly chosen words in that sentence. No… but I’d like to be asked! Whoa, this guy’s straight?

There’s so many poorly chosen words in that sentence. Now, when you do this without getting punched in the chest, you’ll have more fun. No… but I’d like to be asked! There’s only one man I’ve ever called a coward, and that’s Brian Doyle Murray. No, what I’m calling you is a television actor.

STAY HUNGRY, STAY FOOLISH.STEVE JOBS

Guy’s a pro. I care deeply for nature. What’s Spanish for “I know you speak English?” First place chick is hot, but has an attitude, doesn’t date magicians. Whoa, this guy’s straight? Whoa, this guy’s straight?

No, I did not kill Kitty. However, I am going to oblige and answer the nice officer’s questions because I am an honest man with no secrets to hide. Not tricks, Michael, illusions. That’s why you always leave a note!

Across from where? I’m afraid I just blue myself. No… but I’d like to be asked! Guy’s a pro. What’s Spanish for “I know you speak English?”

Hipster painter.

Oh, you’re gonna be in a coma, all right. I care deeply for nature. I care deeply for nature. I’m a monster. I don’t criticize you! And if you’re worried about criticism, sometimes a diet is the best defense.

No… but I’d like to be asked! It’s a hug, Michael. I’m hugging you. There’s only one man I’ve ever called a coward, and that’s Brian Doyle Murray. No, what I’m calling you is a television actor.

You’ve swallowed a planet! Stop talking, brain thinking. Hush. It’s art! A statement on modern society, ‘Oh Ain’t Modern Society Awful?’! No… It’s a thing; it’s like a plan, but with more greatness.

Saving the world with meals on wheels. Did I mention we have comfy chairs? I am the last of my species, and I know how that weighs on the heart so don’t lie to me! No, I’ll fix it. I’m good at fixing rot. Call me the Rotmeister. No, I’m the Doctor. Don’t call me the Rotmeister.

Sorry, checking all the water in this area; there’s an escaped fish. I hate yogurt. It’s just stuff with bits in. Aw, you’re all Mr. Grumpy Face today.

Better Readability

I hate yogurt. It’s just stuff with bits in. You’ve swallowed a planet! They’re not aliens, they’re Earth…liens! Did I mention we have comfy chairs? Father Christmas. Santa Claus. Or as I’ve always known him: Jeff.

I’m nobody’s taxi service; I’m not gonna be there to catch you every time you feel like jumping out of a spaceship. Sorry, checking all the water in this area; there’s an escaped fish. It’s art! A statement on modern society, ‘Oh Ain’t Modern Society Awful?’!

It’s art! A statement on modern society, ‘Oh Ain’t Modern Society Awful?’! Did I mention we have comfy chairs? Did I mention we have comfy chairs? All I’ve got to do is pass as an ordinary human being. Simple. What could possibly go wrong?

Heh-haa! Super squeaky bum time! You hit me with a cricket bat. Annihilate? No. No violence. I won’t stand for it. Not now, not ever, do you understand me?! I’m the Doctor, the Oncoming Storm – and you basically meant beat them in a football match, didn’t you?

Clementine

He’ll want to use your yacht, and I don’t want this thing smelling like fish. Steve Holt! No! I was ashamed to be SEEN with you. I like being with you. Marry me. It’s called ‘taking advantage.’ It’s what gets you ahead in life. I’m a monster. Army had half a day. I don’t criticize you! And if you’re worried about criticism, sometimes a diet is the best defense.

I’m afraid I just blue myself.

First place chick is hot, but has an attitude, doesn’t date magicians. Really? Did nothing cancel? Well, what do you expect, mother? Michael!

Really? Did nothing cancel? Did you enjoy your meal, Mom? You drank it fast enough. Not tricks, Michael, illusions. That’s what it said on ‘Ask Jeeves.’ Really? Did nothing cancel?

“IT’S SIMPLE UNTIL YOU MAKE IT COMPLICATED”JASON FRIED, 37SIGNALS

Now, when you do this without getting punched in the chest, you’ll have more fun. Whoa, this guy’s straight? It’s a hug, Michael. I’m hugging you. Well, what do you expect, mother? I’m afraid I just blue myself.

Guy’s a pro. Get me a vodka rocks. And a piece of toast. I don’t criticize you! And if you’re worried about criticism, sometimes a diet is the best defense. Did you enjoy your meal, Mom? You drank it fast enough.

It’s called ‘taking advantage.’ It’s what gets you ahead in life. I’ve opened a door here that I regret. Marry me. Guy’s a pro.

THE PHILOSOPHY BEHIND

Steve Holt! No, I did not kill Kitty. However, I am going to oblige and answer the nice officer’s questions because I am an honest man with no secrets to hide. I don’t criticize you! And if you’re worried about criticism, sometimes a diet is the best defense.

Army had half a day. Marry me. We just call it a sausage.

Guy’s a pro. Now, when you do this without getting punched in the chest, you’ll have more fun. He’ll want to use your yacht, and I don’t want this thing smelling like fish. We just call it a sausage. I don’t criticize you! And if you’re worried about criticism, sometimes a diet is the best defense.

No! I was ashamed to be SEEN with you. I like being with you. There’s so many poorly chosen words in that sentence. No… but I’d like to be asked! Whoa, this guy’s straight?

There’s so many poorly chosen words in that sentence. Now, when you do this without getting punched in the chest, you’ll have more fun. No… but I’d like to be asked! There’s only one man I’ve ever called a coward, and that’s Brian Doyle Murray. No, what I’m calling you is a television actor.

STAY HUNGRY, STAY FOOLISH.STEVE JOBS

Guy’s a pro. I care deeply for nature. What’s Spanish for “I know you speak English?” First place chick is hot, but has an attitude, doesn’t date magicians. Whoa, this guy’s straight? Whoa, this guy’s straight?

No, I did not kill Kitty. However, I am going to oblige and answer the nice officer’s questions because I am an honest man with no secrets to hide. Not tricks, Michael, illusions. That’s why you always leave a note!

Across from where? I’m afraid I just blue myself. No… but I’d like to be asked! Guy’s a pro. What’s Spanish for “I know you speak English?”

Hipster painter.

Oh, you’re gonna be in a coma, all right. I care deeply for nature. I care deeply for nature. I’m a monster. I don’t criticize you! And if you’re worried about criticism, sometimes a diet is the best defense.

No… but I’d like to be asked! It’s a hug, Michael. I’m hugging you. There’s only one man I’ve ever called a coward, and that’s Brian Doyle Murray. No, what I’m calling you is a television actor.

You’ve swallowed a planet! Stop talking, brain thinking. Hush. It’s art! A statement on modern society, ‘Oh Ain’t Modern Society Awful?’! No… It’s a thing; it’s like a plan, but with more greatness.

Saving the world with meals on wheels. Did I mention we have comfy chairs? I am the last of my species, and I know how that weighs on the heart so don’t lie to me! No, I’ll fix it. I’m good at fixing rot. Call me the Rotmeister. No, I’m the Doctor. Don’t call me the Rotmeister.

Sorry, checking all the water in this area; there’s an escaped fish. I hate yogurt. It’s just stuff with bits in. Aw, you’re all Mr. Grumpy Face today.

Better Readability

I hate yogurt. It’s just stuff with bits in. You’ve swallowed a planet! They’re not aliens, they’re Earth…liens! Did I mention we have comfy chairs? Father Christmas. Santa Claus. Or as I’ve always known him: Jeff.

I’m nobody’s taxi service; I’m not gonna be there to catch you every time you feel like jumping out of a spaceship. Sorry, checking all the water in this area; there’s an escaped fish. It’s art! A statement on modern society, ‘Oh Ain’t Modern Society Awful?’!

It’s art! A statement on modern society, ‘Oh Ain’t Modern Society Awful?’! Did I mention we have comfy chairs? Did I mention we have comfy chairs? All I’ve got to do is pass as an ordinary human being. Simple. What could possibly go wrong?

Heh-haa! Super squeaky bum time! You hit me with a cricket bat. Annihilate? No. No violence. I won’t stand for it. Not now, not ever, do you understand me?! I’m the Doctor, the Oncoming Storm – and you basically meant beat them in a football match, didn’t you?