I stand before you…
Bare…
From head to toe…
My most sensitive mark
Visible to your naked eye.
I’ve traveled a long distance…
From Alexandria…
To Madrid…
From Wellington…
To Montreal.
And I find myself…
In the center of this circus…
Parched…
Exhausted…
And stripped away of my identity…!
You now stand before me…
And question my integrity.
You question my relationships.
And you raise a finger on my love.
The world around me…
Seems to know exactly how to maneuver me into a dark den
What they forget is that I’m guided by my own light.
You waltz in my life…knowing my weakness…
And decide to dictate me my flaws…
What you don’t realize is that my flaws make me strong.
While you are busy playing superficial…
I actually have people around whom I love dearly.
You obviously believe I’m not good enough…
I cannot be trusted…
And I am not like her.
What you forget in all of your verdicts…
That it was I…
Who held your hand…
When the world around you collapsed…!
It was I…
Who made you believe in yourself…
But now you are counting of all the ways…
I could do better.
I am done answering people.
I’m done trying to keep you happy.
You keep reminding me you have a hundred better options.
Well, I don’t want to be the 101 anymore.
This is it…
If you abuse me…
If you suspect me…
If you cannot accept me with all my imperfections…
Then It’s best to say our goodbyes…
No relationship can survive…
If one is adamant on changing the other.
I’m sure your new girl…
Will keep you very happy.
She will take care of sugar in your tea…
Clean your drawer…
Answer your mail…
Make you dessert…
Organize your planner…
Reschedule your meetings…
Jog your memory…
Purchase your medicines…
Iron your shirt…
Do your balance sheet …
Make you a mix CD
Wish you at midnight…
Count your kisses and pay back with interest…
And even read you the morning newspaper…
But hold on…
Why would she do that…
She is the one you love…
Not someone who LOVES YOU.
Posts in Inklings – Poetry & Prose
“Cadence”
In a pool of ashes…
Today,
I met one tied in a satin pink ribbon…
With a few words in yellow…
Tinting it with radiance…
A few dried up tears…
At the top right corner…
And a desiccated corsage…
A white vacant page…
Carrying a long forgotten purpose…
There was a time…
When…
I twirled my way…
Silent vibrations…
Coming from within…
A rhythm unknown…
A mysterious beat…
Taking over me…
A burning desire…
Running through my veins…
I felt the need…
To extend my wings…
And spread the magic around.
I cannot put into words…
The intense feeling…
My body undergoes with the music…
It’s like a craving…
I cannot ignore…
I reach new heights…
As I sway and swirl…
I let my soul sweep…
Wanting more…
And I just dance…
When I dance…
The pounding cadence controls my body…
Nothing left to do…
But given into these sensations…
No time left for thought…
All that’s left for me to do is…
Just dance…!
When I dance…
The world outside…
Is a vision of peace and harmony…
Everything else…
Makes perfect sense…
When I dance…
My heart is content…
And my essence satisfied.
Alas!
This was the past…
The chorus no longer seems to chant my way…
And the melody has lost its opulence…
People no longer believe in its transparency
And I no longer believe in this cakewalk…!
“Let Me…Have You…”
– Just something I doodled in the middle of work at my desk.
Trespassing on my property…
How could you…
Have you no heart…
You tip toe into my life…
Sweep me off my feet…
And expect me to understand…
We are not meant to be!
You have some nerve…
You managed to create
Whirlpool of feelings inside me…
I feel like any alien…
Surrounded with this inexplicable craving
To see you and talk to you.
I keep finding alibis
To walk into you…
I notice everything about you…
Your clothes
Your shoes
Your watch
And that fragrance…
It drives me crazy…
Make me want to do things to you…
Things I cannot mention
In this poem…!
You have made me
Think of things…
I can never have.
Can’t you see…
I want you…
I need you…
How can I explain it to you…
I need to bathe in your aura
I need to feel your touch…
I need to soak your thoughts!
You keep reminding me…
We are never meant to be…
Then why do I find myself…
Hauled towards you…
Then why do your eyes follow me around…
Then why I receive your text message at 3 in the morning…
Then why does my anklet call out your name…
Then why do I find notes in between my books…
The why do I notice you smirk every time I pass by…!!!
Either stop call me in the middle of the night telling me you miss me
Or
Let me have the honor…
To wake up next to you…
For the rest of my life…
Correction…
A few lifetimes…!!!
“One Day…”
One day I will stop caring…
And my heart will stop bearing…
This pain…
Of unspoken dreams…
And vacant desires.
One day I will stop thinking of you…
And my head will be free of…
Your sweet sweet lies…
Your manipulating eyes.
One day I will stop understanding…
And my soul will stop soaking…
Your never ending alibis…
And your perfect pretense…!
One day I will raise my voice…
And make you hear…
All I have to say…
And all that you let go unheard of.
One day I’ll walk into your life…
As me and not someone…
You carved out…
Of your fantasy.
One day I’ll know where I went wrong…
And let you play with my…
Immature feelings…
And inexperienced lips…!
One day I’ll know why I acted so dumb…
Not knowing
It was all a lie from the start…!
One day I’ll be strong enough…
To let it all go…
Your insensitivity…
Your Heartlessness…
Erase you from my heart and soul…
Wash away your imprints…
And live a lie myself…
“I Hate You”…!!!
JUST ME…
From the pastel picture unfolding before my eyes…
To dark smoky rays of your existence…
From the morning’s fresh air…
To the dewdrops that moisten my skin…
I’m just flesh and blood.
From the quiet hour before the dawn…
To the bustling city sunset…
From the frosted glass cabins…
To the late hours in the empty halls…
I’m just a paid employee.
From all the failures in math…
To all the achievements in science…
From all the medals on the mantle…
To all the certificates bearing dust…
I’m just a student.
From all the times you shared…
To all the times we stood hand in hand…
From all the classroom gossip…
To all the unconditional trust…
I’m just a friend.
From the endless expectations…
To all the times I stood quiet in respect…
From all the praises…
To all the times I suppressed my wishes…
I’m just a daughter.
From all the late night hot chocolate…
To all the Disney movies…
From all the dirty little secrets…
To monthly allowances.
I’m just a sister.
From all the love stories…
To all the bangles on my dresser…
From all the winter night readings…
To all the bags that adorn my shoulders…
I’m just a girl.
From the peach blush on my cheeks…
To the deep kohl in my eyes….
From the fragrant henna on my hands…
To the chorus of my glass bangles…
I’m just a bride.
From the day you said I do…
To all the nights you held me tight…
From all the sacrifices in the name of love…
To all the rewards of silence…
I’m just a wife.
From all the eating for two…
To all the times of searing pain…
From the time I heard the first cry…
To the day of his graduation…
I’m just a mother.
From hot turbulent roiling fragments of my mind
To the time I’m filled with images spreading slowly across a blank page…
From when I try so hard to contain them, rein them back…
To the words that temper my emotions…
I’m just a writer.
That’s right…
Above all…
I’m a writer…
Poised, ink ready to flow…
Like blood through my veins…
Warmth, truth, bits and pieces of my life…
Waiting to blaze across these blank white pages…
My words…
Struggle against my will…
Each one taunting me…
Pleading with me to be set free…
They chide me…
“Be real, be honest…
Be brave, be bold,
Dare to write who and what we are.”
And when I listen to them…
And release my inner self…
I melt into the earth, vanish…
Only to be reborn again from the ashes…
And I am stronger than before…
Beautiful words, you have set me free…
Free to be who I really am…
Just me…
A writer…!!!
“…Selfless Presence…”
The sky is steel grey…
The sun has decided to take a holiday…
And birds chirrup loudly from the shaded mires.
A morning…
No different from the rest…
New York Times Square…
Certainly knows how to entertain winters.
Lively creatures…
Walk up and down the streets…
Each engaged in their own frivolities.
Running through the day…
Desperately trying to fill each minute…
With things yet to appear.
He is standing on one side of the road…
A man probably in his late twenties…
Waiting for the signal to go red…
Wearing his black pull over…
And a laptop bag on his right shoulder.
From the looks of a double espresso in his left hand…
Seems like he is on his way…
To another important meeting…
And
From the looks of his eyes…
It seems he has not been getting much sleep.
On the other side…
Another group of hasty pedestrians…
Linger to make their way to the other side.
Wait
What is this…?
A slender female in her early twenties…
Fidgeting amongst the rest…
She is most likely to be running late for work…
With the pile of files cramping her arm…
Looks like she is trying to make a mark…
In a world…
Ruled by chauvinistic men.
She tries to balance a latte in her hands…
While trying to keep warm…
Beneath her grey convertible collar trench.
And
From the looks of her dry patchy skin…
It seems she has not been taking much care of herself.
As the traffic signal…
Shifts from an emerald…
To a scarlet…
She takes her first step down the pavement…
He too unaware of the world around him…
Decides to mess with fate.
As her feet touches the first white stripe…
She raises her gloomy eyes…
And bringing on vindication…
His eyes meet hers…
The heart pounds…
But needs no retaliation.
She does not understand…
A self restoration takes place.
He finds him coerced towards her pale face…
A sudden disclosure of repose…
And a strange tenderness appears in the pupils.
As steps grow closer…
A faint smile starts to take shape…
His eyes speak of a betrayal beyond conception…
Her eyes narrate a story of trials and tears.
He feels no obligation…
To meet her expectations…
She assures with an unspoken declaration
Converting regulations…
Into friendly stipulations…!
She has a look that catches the eye…
But an aura that catches the heart…
His smile grows…!
He knows it is hard to reinstate faith…
But he is firm and resolute in his path.
Her cheeks fill up with color.
Half way between the roads
Their souls…
Intercept…
The air turns sultry…
The aroma of her hair…
Drenched in apples…
Sends a shiver down his spine…
His fantasies awaken.
Feelings of past emerge.
His deep dark eyes mystify her.
For a moment…
He could actually hear her heart ache with loneliness…
The accidental brisk of his arm against hers…
Caused the world to cease…
He had managed to give her an embrace of a lifetime…
With one single touch.
She wants to utter a million unsaid dreams…
And he understands each n every word.
He remembers how wonderful…
It was to live without boundaries.
She now remembers how cathartic…
It was to blush and feel beautiful.
As soon as they pass each other…
The world comes to life again…
Life does not stop for a mere theatrical debut.
They continue to take their steps forward…
She turns back and catches his gaze once again.
He whispers…
I’ve never felt so much familiarity…
By just staring into someone’s eyes…
So much I know about you without a single word…
Ever escaping either of our lips.
You have read me a like an open book…
And given me hope to write a brand new chapter.
She has learned to smile again…
And talk her heart out…
I do not understand…
How is it possible…?
In a matter of moments…
You have managed to heal my wounds…
In spangled silence…
You have given me a perfect moment of intimacy.
You’ve made me believe in kindness, loyalty and care once again.
“You have to put yourself first and learn to trust again”, he articulates.
“You have to let go of your past and give love a second chance”, she whispers back.
Now here we are…
Ready to depart our separate ways…
Beginning a brand new existence…
No one told us…
We were going to find each other…
Unexpected…
What you did to my heart…
When I lost hope…
You walked in…
Like a guardian angel…
Joint by an innocent touch…
We now feel free and ready to take on life.
As they step onto the concrete…
The sun peaks from behind the clouds…
His cell phone rings…
It’s his client, he loved his designs.
Her colleague waives to her…
Praises her dress and they walk away.
A selfless presence…
Can shower a decade of love and understanding…
Leaving behind only…
Memories that will stimulate smiles…
Till the end of time…!
“The Tale Of My Undoing”
Our story
Was like a tear drop…
Temporary and perishable…
The sky has now decided our fate…
Nothing we can do…
Except embrace the memories…
Our paths have now divided…
Your eyes from the far end of the aisle…
Assure me that you are happy…!
I must walk away now…
Forget everything…
The yellow roses must now rest…
The books must now retire…
The bangles must refrain from the chorus…
All the times you held my hand…
The fragrance must cease to exist…
The hug must learn to tame its heat…!
It must have been a treasure…
But it must now hide underneath my kohl.
She looks beautiful in the silk white gown…
How could I even believe…
I would match up to her beauty…
You both look perfect together…
I could not even live up to your name…
She is a wonderful human being…
She’ll enter your family like their very own…
She’ll give you everything you ever wanted…
All I could do…
Was help you out of your tormenting past…
she is going to help you…
Craft your entire lifetime…
I pray that she will love you more than I ever could…
You also,
Take care of her…
Never for a second…
Take her for granted…
We both knew…
This was to come…
What have I done…?
With my own hands…
I’ve written the tale of my undoing.
How could I have been this naive…?
To fall for a dream…
That was never meant to come true…!
No,
I must not think like so…
I knew what awaited me…
This is something I do not regret…
But
Cherish for as long as I live…
I hope the time you had with me…
You were happy…
I hope I made myself…
Worth your attention…
Worth your life long friendship…
I hope I did what I came here for…
Your past is now a faded memory…
With all the hope for a vivid future…!
As I now…
Hurl around in my around my yellow dress…
Dancing at your reception…
In the arms of your best friend…
There is only one thing…
Left to say…
Beneath my skin…
Beyond my senses…
Behind my soul…
You Live…!
“…imperfections…”
If you can look…
Look closely…
At my imperfections…!
If you hold my hands…
You’ll know how brittle I am.
If you ask me to dance…
You’ll know how much I love to fly.
If you look past the kohl…
You’ll know a sea of broken dreams.
If you touch my heart…
You’ll know how weak I am.
If you thrust my lips…
You’ll experience the fire inside me.
If you browse through the pages of my diary…
You’ll know how difficult it is to be righteous.
If you question my honor…
You’ll see the woman inside me.
If you ridicule my affection…
You’ll watch me move heavens for you.
If you inquire of a sacrifice…
You’ll see me walk away right this minute.
If you ask me for a favor…
You’ll know of my compassion.
If you put me under stress…
You’ll see how I shine before dawn.
If you pour toxins in my life…
You’ll observe my perseverance.
If you trap me in your lies…
You’ll see faith in my eyes.
If you try to cheat on me…
You’ll see me wait for you over dinner.
If you give me an anklet…
You’ll witness the melody of a thousand angels.
If you give me yellow roses…
You’ll know the blush of a bride.
If you tease my senses…
You’ll see how inexperience I’m in bed.
If you test my love…
You’ll awaken the Juliet inside me.
If you question my persistence…
You’ll find the 21 letters, never posted.
If you wonder of my patience…
You’ll spot me standing right here years down the line.
If you take me in your life…
You’ll walk into Paradise.
…HEAL…
Some twenty years ago…
My mom screamed her head off…
When she saw me scribbling on the kitchen wall…
I was forbidden to write…
On the walls that is…
Words…
Ah! Sweet Words…!
They have always been my refuge…
My saving grace…
My sanctuary…
Through all my struggles…
I’ve poured out my agony…
When I had to purge my sorrow…
Words came to my rescue…!
People often ridiculed me…
A Writer in a White Lab Coat…!
They used to say…
Question me…
How can scientists ever…
Describe the depths of loneliness…!
Little did they know…
No one could ever…
express it better than a Desert Princess…
Caught between being a daughter and a girl…!
I stuck to my soul…
I knew it was my true calling…
Often the pain along the way…
Was too deep to tell…
…and the sadness…
…and anger…
Bottled up all inside…
None to paint a picture of fear and regret…
That’s when a bound…
Spiral…
Collection of blank pages…
Saved me from the tallest tower in the castle…!
In a world where…
People are caught in trivial matters…
To help my grieve…
My words were here again…!
…to celebrate my victories…
…to hug my ache…
…to hold me when I’m cold…
…to dance with me in the rain…
My words have seen it all…!
All the sweet memories…
Those keep haunting me…
With the steady rhythm of my heart…
My words continue to tease your senses…
And long after…
I’ve left this temporary world…
My words will continue…
…to remind you of my love…
…my hatred…
…my dreams…!
Mom says, in our society…
Girls do not win the Pulitzer Prize
But that has never stopped me before…
So, listen you all…
Am not giving up my dream just yet…
I still believe…
I have what it takes…
To make people go…
…awww…
And
…ahhhh…!
Ill be the persisting wall of words…
Never letting go…
I don’t care what you say…
I just know one thing…
Somewhere in these words…
Hides my essence…
My fountain of youth…
Have to keep drinking it…
Have to keep putting it…
…on paper…
To heal myself…!!!
“I still believe…”
A few pictures rest among the pages of my diary…
A used tissue paper still reeks of you…
An old toffee wrapper still smells sweets…
And the city is still alive at 3:15 AM in the morning.
The waves still rise above the shore…
I still cannot reach into the sky and hold a star…
People still believe in stories of love and destiny…
And I still find myself telling sweet lies.
The wind still blows against my pale cheeks…
Dreams still find a way back to me…
A few songs are still hard to listen to…
And I still believe this was all meant to be.
I still weep at night under the sheets…
The wall beside my dresser still illustrates the crack…
The black tee still bears the coffee stain…
And I still cannot find my pink charm bracelet.
This bed still hides a few secrets untold…
This cell phone still holds a few calls unanswered…
This library still conceals your letters…
And I still sometimes see you near my bed post.
A few words are still hard to say…
A few feelings are still hard to express…
A few dreams are still hard to let go off…
And a few hugs are still irreplaceable.
I still believe in strangers becoming best of friends…
I still believe my words make you shudder…
I still believe I’ve what it takes to bring you back…
And I still believe in YOU…!!!