Posts tagged books

DEAR DIARY – Why Don’t I Feel Like Reading or Writing?

Books & Reading 2 Comments

I’ve been having a hard time reading and writing. Especially when all I think about nowadays is publishing my book. It’s a combination of various factors I believe, I’ve been super busy at work with my product’s SQA process. My 2-hour commute home and the unavailability of books I want to read at my local bookstore chain isn’t helping either. I mean come on Liberty Books, how difficult it is to stock up Liane Moriarty books? And why would you guys take so much of time to get Lethal White into the country? Even Pyjamas are Forgiving is taking time to cross the border!

This year brought a revelation that I never expected from someone like me. I want to work for myself. May be it was hitting the big 30 that surfaced this thought. But lately, I have been craving to set up my own business but that is a talk for another day.

The fact that my 3rd attempt at taking my family for a vacation just went down-under might have to do a lot with this feeling of “Blah”. But together all these feelings and my erratic schedule has been making it harder and harder for me to really get into a book. Not to mention, its been a month since I last penned something.

I do have a Goodreads Reading Challenge set for myself but I don’t believe in pressurizing myself into reading X number of books in year or stick to X number of reading hours per day. In fact, I believe in taking quick breaks between books or even a week or two but not being able to get into the habit of reading for sometime has me concerned.

Moreover nothing has inspired me to write or piqued my interest to delve into its abyss and revel in its glory. Even right now, writing this mediocre post is not satisfying me in any way. I don’t even know what to say.

Perhaps this post won’t even see daylights of the Internet and remain hidden among other drafts of my blog. Or may be getting it out there will help me get over my reading-slump and my writer’s block.

I am not even sure what to do about it, so I’ve chosen to just ramble on and send out a plea to the cosmos. Perhaps help will soon be on its way!

So until, I regain my jam, here’s to the love of the written word,

Cheers!

#KHIBookSwap – My Baby Turns 2!

Books & Reading
Dear Readers,

Not long ago, I moved back to my country in search of a new life and a new dream. With my aspirations, traveled my love of the written word as well and I found myself lost amidst of writers, bloggers, photographers, painters and musicians. Not that I had any problems with any of them but what my heart desired was nowhere to be found.

A sanctuary where the written word was adored and perhaps even worshiped! I was in search of a “Book Club” to quench my thirst of like-minded individuals who were as crazy as I was for reading. But none even came close. And then entered Farman Shams, the man who would one day – be the father to my safe haven. Together Farman and I laid the foundation to “KHI Book Swap” as Pakistan’s first ever book swapping book club and promised each other a lifetime of “Doing Books”.



On August 16, 2014, Farman and I hosted our club’s first ever meeting (monthly meet) and let’s just say it did not start on a good note but little did we know that it was the start of something sweet and something luminous. It’s been two (02) exciting years of “KHI Book Swap” where every month we find ourselves surrounded by bookworms, bibliophiles and hardcore readers. I have actually found a few friends for life all thanks to this cozy, little book club of ours. Farman and I have been pleasantly surprised by the overwhelming response from many cities in the country. Often we receive queries in regard to our book club, it’s policies etc.
Allow me to narrate a comprehensive outlook regarding my baby.

If you are still reading this means you are clearly interested in becoming a part of our book club.

So here is the deal, our book club is stationed or in other words has its headquarters in Karachi. We do not have any (yet) branches, associations or affiliations with anyone or any other club/body/organization/group in any other city of the country. 

You can easily find us online including on a number of popular social media networks. We are currently active on three (03) social media platforms: Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. On Facebook you will find an official page to the establishment as well as a Group where you can join from anywhere in the country. The group is open to interested members from all corners of the globe. Each month we announce our “Genre of the Month” or “Selection of the Month” for all our (national and international) members. These titles are then discussed during our upcoming monthly meet. For members in other cities, we usually carry out a number of discussions on the group itself. You are most welcome to join the conversation, and discover new books, meet readers and talk about latest news from the publishing world. 

Once in a month, members available in Karachi get together and vent out on the selection in-question. The meets are usually accompanied with food and a ton of never ending “book talk”. We are more or less cutting each other sentences and that is perhaps the best part of our book club. Each one of us is more than just enthusiastic and just wants to ‘do books’ – which of course is what our motto. The online group is strictly moderated by both of us (Myself and Farman Shams) not to mention membership is only confirmed once you sign up with our online form presented to you when you join. The book club also harbors a WhatsApp presence but the WhatsApp Group is open only to active members. The criterion for entry is attendance of a minimum three (03) monthly meets. There is no such eligibility criterion for club membership itself however participation is highly encouraged for continued association.

Enough of boring policy-talk!

This book club came into existence because Farman and I love reading, we are obsessed with books and there lies the philosophy to the establishment. I never intended to organize a ‘meet-up’ or a gathering of sorts. My partner and I have always been very clear on how we want our club to function.

We all read.
And we all talk about books.

As simple as that! Period. 

We do not engage in any kind of frivolities outside the reading world. This book club is not a business to me. It’s our baby and we nurture it the same. And two (02) years down the line with over a hundred (100) members we are proud to be known as a “real book club”. 

Farman has been instrumental in the operations of the book club from day one and without him one cannot even imagine #KHIBookSwap.

His patience with my unconventional approach and adrenaline-driven ideas deserves all the gratitude in the world. And I’d like to take this moment to thank the daddy of my baby for being so gracious and cool-headed with me during all this time! 

If you like ‘reading’ then I assure you this is the place for you. Share, talk, vent out, and debate – as long as you read – you are welcome to our paradise.

And guess what? This August 16th, my Baby will turn 2! Farman and I are completely ecstatic and we intend to celebrate this glorious moment with all our active members. A grand celebration is under the wraps right now and will be unveiled shortly.

We hope to see you on our next monthly meet and share your passion of the written word!

P.S. My baby is turning 2 and I have the #MommyFeels 24/7! 

The Institution of Friendship

Love & Relationships

‎Since I can remember, friends and entire the institution of friendship have been sacred to me. Being the only child for many years, and not blessed by discovering books at any early age, I found comfort in my friends. Although I preferred playing alone, often pretend games (especially packing a small luggage bag and pretend to be flying to another country), but more or less, my friends meant the world to me.

Perhaps for the last 12 to 15 years, my views on friendship kept rotating, had a handful of experiences where friends did not turn out to be that true, reliable or honest as I thought them to be. Anyways, a few years ago, I stopped running after my friends, stopped trying to keep everyone together and did not go out of my way to make gestures that were never reciprocated. I then stop expecting from my friends, which I think, is a whole lot of baloney, if you can’t depend on your friends, then this world is certainly going to the dogs.

Life moved on, I got busy with my life and yes a decade ago, found peace, honesty and solace amongst my words and books so frankly did not find the need to run after human beings. But all was good, believe me, all was good, I had no regrets or animosity for any of the people who betrayed or cheated me, even made some new good friends, however, last night, at around 09:47 pm I came across a rather disturbing scenario. After 3 years of asking myself what possibly could I have done wrong to my drive my best friend away, I came to realize that I wasn’t to blame at all.

The height of being selfish and scheming just to get what you want is what we call friendship most of the time. I learned how low, materialistic and self-centered people can get and believe me, it wasn’t a good feeling. And no, being grownups about it does not help counter the feeling of being betrayed. But I guess then it’s true, betrayal is survival.

And no, don’t get me wrong, I am not upset, I am happy, my life is beautiful, yes I lost my father and I miss him every day but other than that, my life is good, I have a wonderful family constantly supporting me, I am smart, sexy and successful and I have no regrets but yes for the first time in my life, I realized, you did not deserve my friendship.

“Let Me…Have You…”

Inklings - Poetry & Prose

– Just something I doodled in the middle of work at my desk.

Trespassing on my property…
How could you…
Have you no heart…
You tip toe into my life…
Sweep me off my feet…
And expect me to understand…
We are not meant to be!
You have some nerve…
You managed to create
Whirlpool of feelings inside me…
I feel like any alien…
Surrounded with this inexplicable craving
To see you and talk to you.
I keep finding alibis
To walk into you…
I notice everything about you…
Your clothes
Your shoes
Your watch
And that fragrance…
It drives me crazy…
Make me want to do things to you…
Things I cannot mention
In this poem…!
You have made me
Think of things…
I can never have.
Can’t you see…
I want you…
I need you…
How can I explain it to you…
I need to bathe in your aura
I need to feel your touch…
I need to soak your thoughts!
You keep reminding me…
We are never meant to be…
Then why do I find myself…
Hauled towards you…
Then why do your eyes follow me around…
Then why I receive your text message at 3 in the morning…
Then why does my anklet call out your name…
Then why do I find notes in between my books…
The why do I notice you smirk every time I pass by…!!!
Either stop call me in the middle of the night telling me you miss me
Or
Let me have the honor…
To wake up next to you…
For the rest of my life…
Correction…
A few lifetimes…!!!

“The Tale Of My Undoing”

Inklings - Poetry & Prose

Our story
Was like a tear drop…
Temporary and perishable…
The sky has now decided our fate…
Nothing we can do…
Except embrace the memories…
Our paths have now divided…
Your eyes from the far end of the aisle…
Assure me that you are happy…!
I must walk away now…
Forget everything…
The yellow roses must now rest…
The books must now retire…
The bangles must refrain from the chorus…
All the times you held my hand…
The fragrance must cease to exist…
The hug must learn to tame its heat…!
It must have been a treasure…
But it must now hide underneath my kohl.
She looks beautiful in the silk white gown…
How could I even believe…
I would match up to her beauty…
You both look perfect together…
I could not even live up to your name…
She is a wonderful human being…
She’ll enter your family like their very own…
She’ll give you everything you ever wanted…
All I could do…
Was help you out of your tormenting past…
she is going to help you…
Craft your entire lifetime…
I pray that she will love you more than I ever could…
You also,
Take care of her…
Never for a second…
Take her for granted…
We both knew…
This was to come…
What have I done…?
With my own hands…
I’ve written the tale of my undoing.
How could I have been this naive…?
To fall for a dream…
That was never meant to come true…!
No,
I must not think like so…
I knew what awaited me…
This is something I do not regret…
But
Cherish for as long as I live…
I hope the time you had with me…
You were happy…
I hope I made myself…
Worth your attention…
Worth your life long friendship…
I hope I did what I came here for…
Your past is now a faded memory…
With all the hope for a vivid future…!
As I now…
Hurl around in my around my yellow dress…
Dancing at your reception…
In the arms of your best friend…
There is only one thing…
Left to say…
Beneath my skin…
Beyond my senses…
Behind my soul…
You Live…!