For months I’ve been playing this game…
Pretending I am okay with what you did.
Truth is…
I have not yet accepted that you left.
I still find myself…
Drawn to an illicit crafted fling…
That holds no meaning.
What is it that I am to you…
An ex – girlfriend…
A lover…
Your so-called best friend
Or en eligible mistress…?
Questions as such often have surfaced…
Never found the courage to ask you though.
We are bound by this love-hate connection
Something I cannot seem to break…!
You change as the colors across the sky…
Your words no longer penetrate…
I am unable to understand what you need of me…!
Owing to my position…
I can never ask you to come back to me…
And you continue to use that against me.
Can you not see the love in my eyes…?
I could never become the girl…
You wanted…
And to date…
I look in the mirror…
And count the flaws…
Those hold me back..!
She had perfect lips…
And your current knows you well.
She wore the crown…
And your current bears the seed.
She was a dream…
And now she is your entire lifetime…!
This brings me no where…
I’m still fighting to earn a place in your life.
I cannot be the girl you loved…
And I cannot be the girl you live with…
Then who I am…???
And if I am nothing…
Then why don’t you let me go…???
We fight every day…
You constantly criticize me…
You have problems with every step I take…
If I am defective piece…
Then why not throw me away…?
You decided to walk out with a perfect alibi…
And left me to clear the mess.
I love you unconditionally…
And I can no longer hold back the expression.
I fell in love with you
Without any reason or rhyme…
And I plan to continue on the same terms…!
You’ll never see for the woman I can be…
My small inexpensive gestures will never count for anything…
I don’t care…
You can spend the rest of your life…
Waking up to your woman…
I’ll sleep with my man…
And wakeup with you…!
You showed me heaven…
You made me feel
like nothing else matters
like the world is brighter then it used to be…
Sadly…
You’ll never get to see the Paradise…
I had carved for us…!!!