Posts tagged friendship

“TELL ME”

I do not wish to know your story
Or the countless of dreams you hide
But tell me of that one unfortunate tale
That forced you to never confide…

I do not want to know about the great things
That you have over overcome
But tell me of those little things
That have made you what you’ve become…

I do not want to know the hundreds of applause
Or the gestures by people faking
But tell me how you feel
When you hear the sound of your dreams breaking…

I do not want to know of the brilliance
Of the sun at the peak of noon
But tell me about the darkest night
In the absence of the moon…

I do not want to know about your many friends
And what they say and do
But tell me about that one friend
Who lets you just be you…

I do not want to know about all the questions
That you have found the answers to
But tell me of that one answer
Of which you still feel to be untrue…

I do not want to know about the things
That you see in broad daylight
But tell me about what you see
After you close your eyes at night…

I do not want to know about your wounds
That hurt and burn sometimes
But tell me about the ones
Which have gone numb with time…

I do not want to know about the things you’ve written
Under the covers on a lonely night
But tell me about the blank pages that are filled
With words you were too reluctant to write…

I do not want to know about the things
That you would tell the world any way
But tell me about your immoral desires
That you are too afraid to ever say….

The Institution of Friendship

‎Since I can remember, friends and entire the institution of friendship have been sacred to me. Being the only child for many years, and not blessed by discovering books at any early age, I found comfort in my friends. Although I preferred playing alone, often pretend games (especially packing a small luggage bag and pretend to be flying to another country), but more or less, my friends meant the world to me.

Perhaps for the last 12 to 15 years, my views on friendship kept rotating, had a handful of experiences where friends did not turn out to be that true, reliable or honest as I thought them to be. Anyways, a few years ago, I stopped running after my friends, stopped trying to keep everyone together and did not go out of my way to make gestures that were never reciprocated. I then stop expecting from my friends, which I think, is a whole lot of baloney, if you can’t depend on your friends, then this world is certainly going to the dogs.

Life moved on, I got busy with my life and yes a decade ago, found peace, honesty and solace amongst my words and books so frankly did not find the need to run after human beings. But all was good, believe me, all was good, I had no regrets or animosity for any of the people who betrayed or cheated me, even made some new good friends, however, last night, at around 09:47 pm I came across a rather disturbing scenario. After 3 years of asking myself what possibly could I have done wrong to my drive my best friend away, I came to realize that I wasn’t to blame at all.

The height of being selfish and scheming just to get what you want is what we call friendship most of the time. I learned how low, materialistic and self-centered people can get and believe me, it wasn’t a good feeling. And no, being grownups about it does not help counter the feeling of being betrayed. But I guess then it’s true, betrayal is survival.

And no, don’t get me wrong, I am not upset, I am happy, my life is beautiful, yes I lost my father and I miss him every day but other than that, my life is good, I have a wonderful family constantly supporting me, I am smart, sexy and successful and I have no regrets but yes for the first time in my life, I realized, you did not deserve my friendship.

JUST ME…

From the pastel picture unfolding before my eyes…
To dark smoky rays of your existence…
From the morning’s fresh air…
To the dewdrops that moisten my skin…
I’m just flesh and blood.
From the quiet hour before the dawn…
To the bustling city sunset…
From the frosted glass cabins…
To the late hours in the empty halls…
I’m just a paid employee.
From all the failures in math…
To all the achievements in science…
From all the medals on the mantle…
To all the certificates bearing dust…
I’m just a student.
From all the times you shared…
To all the times we stood hand in hand…
From all the classroom gossip…
To all the unconditional trust…
I’m just a friend.
From the endless expectations…
To all the times I stood quiet in respect…
From all the praises…
To all the times I suppressed my wishes…
I’m just a daughter.
From all the late night hot chocolate…
To all the Disney movies…
From all the dirty little secrets…
To monthly allowances.
I’m just a sister.
From all the love stories…
To all the bangles on my dresser…
From all the winter night readings…
To all the bags that adorn my shoulders…
I’m just a girl.
From the peach blush on my cheeks…
To the deep kohl in my eyes….
From the fragrant henna on my hands…
To the chorus of my glass bangles…
I’m just a bride.
From the day you said I do…
To all the nights you held me tight…
From all the sacrifices in the name of love…
To all the rewards of silence…
I’m just a wife.
From all the eating for two…
To all the times of searing pain…
From the time I heard the first cry…
To the day of his graduation…
I’m just a mother.
From hot turbulent roiling fragments of my mind
To the time I’m filled with images spreading slowly across a blank page…
From when I try so hard to contain them, rein them back…
To the words that temper my emotions…
I’m just a writer.
That’s right…
Above all…
I’m a writer…
Poised, ink ready to flow…
Like blood through my veins…
Warmth, truth, bits and pieces of my life…
Waiting to blaze across these blank white pages…
My words…
Struggle against my will…
Each one taunting me…
Pleading with me to be set free…
They chide me…
“Be real, be honest…
Be brave, be bold,
Dare to write who and what we are.”
And when I listen to them…
And release my inner self…
I melt into the earth, vanish…
Only to be reborn again from the ashes…
And I am stronger than before…
Beautiful words, you have set me free…
Free to be who I really am…
Just me…
A writer…!!!

“The Tale Of My Undoing”

Our story
Was like a tear drop…
Temporary and perishable…
The sky has now decided our fate…
Nothing we can do…
Except embrace the memories…
Our paths have now divided…
Your eyes from the far end of the aisle…
Assure me that you are happy…!
I must walk away now…
Forget everything…
The yellow roses must now rest…
The books must now retire…
The bangles must refrain from the chorus…
All the times you held my hand…
The fragrance must cease to exist…
The hug must learn to tame its heat…!
It must have been a treasure…
But it must now hide underneath my kohl.
She looks beautiful in the silk white gown…
How could I even believe…
I would match up to her beauty…
You both look perfect together…
I could not even live up to your name…
She is a wonderful human being…
She’ll enter your family like their very own…
She’ll give you everything you ever wanted…
All I could do…
Was help you out of your tormenting past…
she is going to help you…
Craft your entire lifetime…
I pray that she will love you more than I ever could…
You also,
Take care of her…
Never for a second…
Take her for granted…
We both knew…
This was to come…
What have I done…?
With my own hands…
I’ve written the tale of my undoing.
How could I have been this naive…?
To fall for a dream…
That was never meant to come true…!
No,
I must not think like so…
I knew what awaited me…
This is something I do not regret…
But
Cherish for as long as I live…
I hope the time you had with me…
You were happy…
I hope I made myself…
Worth your attention…
Worth your life long friendship…
I hope I did what I came here for…
Your past is now a faded memory…
With all the hope for a vivid future…!
As I now…
Hurl around in my around my yellow dress…
Dancing at your reception…
In the arms of your best friend…
There is only one thing…
Left to say…
Beneath my skin…
Beyond my senses…
Behind my soul…

You Live…!

“Our Little Secret”

White walls..
White lights…
The sound of the printer…
And a series of door slamming…
Everything is so quiet around us…
A lingering soft tempting silence…
The people around us think…
We are busy with work…
but we know better…!
I wonder…do we concur…?
Why did our worlds…
all of a sudden…
decide to collide…?
What is that you want exactly…?
Why am I here in the first place…?
Signals twirling and twisting…
I can’t seem to escape your words…
This strange friendship nurturing…
Though we are nothing, I care…!
Just knowing each other…
brings smiles to our faces.
Though we are nothing…
I enjoy what we share…
A special little sanctuary of our own…!
Each going through…
each of our own phases…
Trying to figure out…
who we are.
Where the meaning of life can be found…!
So let us set out…
on this brand new expedition.
In search of this New World.
Even though…
the world around us will never understand…
Don’t let them convince you…
this is not meant to be.
For now…
for the sake of what we have…
this will be our…
“Little Secret”.