Posts tagged heaven

Paradise vs. Heaven

For months I’ve been playing this game…

Pretending I am okay with what you did.

Truth is…

I have not yet accepted that you left.

I still find myself…

Drawn to an illicit crafted fling…

That holds no meaning.

What is it that I am to you…

An ex – girlfriend…

A lover…

Your so-called best friend

Or en eligible mistress…?

Questions as such often have surfaced…

Never found the courage to ask you though.

We are bound by this love-hate connection

Something I cannot seem to break…!

You change as the colors across the sky…

Your words no longer penetrate…

I am unable to understand what you need of me…!

Owing to my position…

I can never ask you to come back to me…

And you continue to use that against me.

Can you not see the love in my eyes…?

I could never become the girl…

You wanted…

And to date…

I look in the mirror…

And count the flaws…

Those hold me back..!

She had perfect lips…

And your current knows you well.

She wore the crown…

And your current bears the seed.

She was a dream…

And now she is your entire lifetime…!

This brings me no where…

I’m still fighting to earn a place in your life.

I cannot be the girl you loved…

And I cannot be the girl you live with…

Then who I am…???

And if I am nothing…

Then why don’t you let me go…???

We fight every day…

You constantly criticize me…

You have problems with every step I take…

If I am defective piece…

Then why not throw me away…?

You decided to walk out with a perfect alibi…

And left me to clear the mess.

I love you unconditionally…

And I can no longer hold back the expression.

I fell in love with you

Without any reason or rhyme…

And I plan to continue on the same terms…!

You’ll never see for the woman I can be…

My small inexpensive gestures will never count for anything…

I don’t care…

You can spend the rest of your life…

Waking up to your woman…

I’ll sleep with my man…

And wakeup with you…!

You showed me heaven…

You made me feel

like nothing else matters

like the world is brighter then it used to be…

Sadly…

You’ll never get to see the Paradise…

I had carved for us…!!!

“…imperfections…”

If you can look…
Look closely…
At my imperfections…!
If you hold my hands…
You’ll know how brittle I am.
If you ask me to dance…
You’ll know how much I love to fly.
If you look past the kohl…
You’ll know a sea of broken dreams.
If you touch my heart…
You’ll know how weak I am.
If you thrust my lips…
You’ll experience the fire inside me.
If you browse through the pages of my diary…
You’ll know how difficult it is to be righteous.
If you question my honor…
You’ll see the woman inside me.
If you ridicule my affection…
You’ll watch me move heavens for you.
If you inquire of a sacrifice…
You’ll see me walk away right this minute.
If you ask me for a favor…
You’ll know of my compassion.
If you put me under stress…
You’ll see how I shine before dawn.
If you pour toxins in my life…
You’ll observe my perseverance.
If you trap me in your lies…
You’ll see faith in my eyes.
If you try to cheat on me…
You’ll see me wait for you over dinner.
If you give me an anklet…
You’ll witness the melody of a thousand angels.
If you give me yellow roses…
You’ll know the blush of a bride.
If you tease my senses…
You’ll see how inexperience I’m in bed.
If you test my love…
You’ll awaken the Juliet inside me.
If you question my persistence…
You’ll find the 21 letters, never posted.
If you wonder of my patience…
You’ll spot me standing right here years down the line.
If you take me in your life…
You’ll walk into Paradise.