Posts tagged relationships

I Don’t Speak 01010

Inklings - Poetry & Prose Love & Relationships People & More

You came with the changing season…

And I misread the signs.

I thought you’d come along to offer comfort…

Instead you came knocking from deep within.

It was early August with Autumn around the corner…

How was I to not fall for you.

You kept it fairly simple…

And yet I fell pray to the pattern.

You had some nerve…

Teaching me the difference between the good and bad.

Trespassing where you do not belong…

Evoking feelings you could not embrace.

Making me question this blurred line between us…

And holding me back with your obnoxious 01010 theory.

1675 days later you continue to rule my kingdom…

And yet refuse to let me claim the throne.

This year, I intent to turn the tables…

Or perhaps just have you on the that desk in the corner.

I don’t speak your language…

And yet you expect me to differentiate between zero and one.

I’ve kept this hidden for far too long…

Time to reveal and devourer everything in sight.

Including your rules and that piece of manhood you wear as a Crown.

10 Things to Know to Dating a Developer

Love & Relationships 1 Comment
Are you a Programmer’s Girlfriend?
 
Did your Boyfriend profess his love to you in Python?
 
Does he change Coffee into Code?
 
Then I suggest you continue to read on.
 
First of all, allow me to congratulate you on your brave, brave feat, I mean you agreed to Date a Developer, you must be one strong woman.
 
Whether you call them Developers, Programmers, Coders or Software Engineers, they all have one thing in common, we love them unconditionally and they don’t deserve us. I mean don’t get me wrong, they are probably the most intelligent people on Earth but they sure hell don’t…well let’s not make it emotional. If you are a Proud Girlfriend to a Programmer then you need the following 101 in your life.
 
10. You are not their first love, not even the last.
He might say, you are his only girl but believe me he loves his laptop (or in this case his Alien ALIENWARE Work Station to be specific) more than he could ever love you. You will often find him smiling to himself looking at his screen, don’t worry, it’s not a female, it’s a new feature.
 
09. All they do is Code. Not even you.
Yes. Get over it. It’s a cycle, midnight coding, 03:00 AM coding, Friday night coding, just before a party coding. Even Victoria Secret cannot help you there!
 
08. They don’t have time for you.
The sooner you accept this the better it is. Get yourself a hobby. Focus on your career because even breaking your wrist isn’t going to get you the attention you probably deserve. He does not have time for you and he will make zero efforts about it. He expects you to understand his schedule, which is his ‘every day’ by the way.
 
07. No one else! 
The best thing about being a programmer’s girlfriend is the top-notch security that comes with the relationship. It’s not like he does not ache down there or has never surfed porn, or followed chicks on Instagram/Facebook, he just doesn’t have the time to cheat on you. That’s all!
 
06. Friends are the most important thing in the world.
So you thought, he’d spend the Saturday night with you because he completed his sprint? Ha Ha how naive of you! The only time he will ever message you is to tell you he is going out with his friends. His coder pals are more attractive than you could ever be! Best you hear it from me girl than him! 
 
05. He is very happy. Probably without you!
The thing with Programmers is that they are passionate about what they do and thus extraordinarily good at their jobs. They are successful, and make a lot of moolah and are completely satisfied in their lives. They often forget you are part of their happiness. You will be taken for granted and often forgotten.
 
04. Don’t expect a diamond. Ever!
If you like yellow roses, pearls or books or chocolates, I suggest you buy yourself a treat. It’s not about the money, they’d be happy to spend thousands on you but don’t ever expect a gift. But you know what? He’s creating you apps and websites all the time. Imagine having a boyfriend who gifts you a website, just think about all the money you’ll save on hosting! 
 
03. Patience is a virtue.
It’s also what’s going to help you live with a programmer. Breathe in. Breathe out. This won’t make things any better but it’ll help you get through the day! And mind you, countless of hours of debugging, they develop an astounding level of tolerance, a quality much valued in relationships.
 
02. You will soon be talking in programming languages.
You might never ever understand Laravel but you will surely start to understand HTML and may be even PHP. And you know what, when you do something relatively technologically competent, he’ll be all over you; he’d love you for loving what he does.
 
01. He is probably the worst boyfriend in the Milky Way Galaxy.
But believe me when I say, he is the best thing that has ever happened to you! Nothing in this world even compares to the love he has for you. I mean come on, remember the one time, when he left a text for you, “You are the CSS to my HTML”, I mean even Shakespeare can’t beat that!
 
No matter what happens, don’t stop loving him, even when loving becomes difficult and hating becomes easy. 

 

I AM YOURS

Inklings - Poetry & Prose Love & Relationships
In case the air in my lungs runs out…
I wanted to make sure…
You hear this out loud…
Just to make it clear…
Before time runs out…
Before you decide it’s not worth it anymore…
In case I lose my voice tomorrow…
Or apocalypse arrives…
While we are sleeping…
And I haven’t said it enough already….
Before we both get into an argument…
And my actions fail to corroborate…
Before you look the other way….
And a doubt crosses your mind…
Or your friends tell you otherwise…
I want you to know…
Today…
Tomorrow…
Forever…

I Am Yours…! 

Love Is.

Inklings - Poetry & Prose Love & Relationships

Do you believe in love at first sight?

 
For as long as I can remember, I’ve done so with all my heart. Granted expecting violins and saxophones was something I knew was never going to happen. But somewhere deep down hoped the skies would clear out, birds will chirp and there will definitely be a breeze of sorts. 
 
I was pleasantly proven wrong.
 
Do you believe in soulmates?
 
Hell to the yeah. I mean when you grow up shipping Mondler (Monica + Chandler) how can you not? See what I did there?
 
I know. I know. I was sadly mistaken.
 
I hold no authority on dictating what love is but having spent 3 decades on Earth, I can certainly differentiate between love and something-like-love.
 
No matter how much we love to detest Edward’s sparkly skin, we all have wished for a love that stops time. We all crave for a moment when time stands still and the beauty of love shines through every space of our existence. Somehow all that – just does not exist! And for all the right reasons…
 
We yearn for chemistry.
 
We wish for harmony.
 
We pray for physics, biology and sometimes mathematics too. But have ever hoped for nothingness?
 
Our predefined quotients of love and relationships have led us nowhere but to a pool of arguments, fights and breaking points. I am not at all in any way suggesting that a more compatible human being is in any way less suitable match for you but books, movies and writers like yours truly have set human experience expectations. Like running a call centre and setting customer experience expectations is our number one priority.
 
How much he makes?
 
How good she is at going down?
 
Will he be a good father?
 
Will she get along with my mom?
 
Is he reliable?
 
Is she the faithful kind?
 
So many brackets, so many prerequisites and no manual! I mean, let’s not be skeptic, all of this is important, after all we are planning (or at least hoping to) to spend an entire lifetime together so a small checklist isn’t all bad. But nowhere do we find a manual to get to a conclusion. I mean, did anyone define a baseline for LOVE? (If you are reading this and you work at my office, I know what you are thinking, this is a feeling Ifrah – not a process that you can analyse and set during a quality management meeting). This might sound crazy but aren’t we all doing the same? Critically scrutinising every relationship in our lives and expecting a few baselines to be met?
 
And yes, I was one of them. Showing no flexibility, I had preconceived notions about love, friendship, loyalty, fidelity and all. And in doing so, I focused more on meeting the parameters then living the relationship itself. I understand that overnight, all cannot go away. But along the way, I’ve learned to deviate and be happy. I grew up thinking meeting someone by accident and falling in love at the very spot is romantic, I failed to take into account the laws of attractions (I suck at math). I looked up to Mondler thinking how can two people be this perfect for each other? I failed to navigate the thin line between just perfect and almost perfect. In real life there are no soulmates only people who are in it for the long run. In real life there are no goals and objectives only the desire to be together. 
 
What we fail to realise is that the struggles, the compromises and the many nights of wonderment is what truly makes a relationship last. Sometimes, two people have to work at it to make it work and some lucky ones don’t have to work at all. Some of us get lucky, and I am happy for you but others need to put in an effort.
 
This very effort makes a relationship look like work and I hate this kind of work. There came a point in my life where I refused to produce any kind of effort, initiative or even blink to ensure it kept running. This happens when everything becomes one sided, whether we like to admit it or not but you need more than a single cog to keep the heart running. So, does this tell us that sustaining a healthy relationship is a two-way street? Right on! And that’s why the #OTPs on the Telly make it look so damn good. But predetermining every single thing takes the real fun out of it all!
 
A few habits, perhaps the lifestyle or two completely opposite philosophies to life are truly deal-breakers. But we need to look beyond those and give the other person a chance to compensate otherwise. Am I making it sound like a transaction? That’s precisely what a love is. An exchange of respect, trust and care, and the only place where I totally support and encourage interest!
 
Bend a little, believe me he’d appreciate it (in and out of bed).
 
A relationship is only beautiful when it wears and tears with time. Allow yourself to evolve. You do love your iPhone7 don’t you? Imagine carrying a 1.1 Kg mobile phone from 1973 in your clutch from CHANEL?
 
The preconceived bubble is a comfortable to place to walk but eventually you need an old, mouldy, spring mattress to settle down. Love works in mysterious ways, allow yourself to be surprised and even fooled at times. Only then you will be able to truly embrace love in its totality. It’s easier said than done but taking a chance only helps you grow as an individual. Why enter a relationship with expectations? Allow him/her to come to a point where taking a stand comes from the heart not from the circumstances. I understand that many of us face the fear of uncertainty, and not everyone enjoys the luxury of time and space but I also believe that good things come to those who uphold faith. All these words make love look like a scripture to be followed but it is exactly the opposite. In spite of the encumbrances of family, religion, culture and peers, only the two individuals involved can truly understand the dynamics of a relationship. 

Playing safe won’t get you much. True love is all about contradictions and yet somehow striking a balance. True love is about finding the least compatible person on Earth and smiling every time he/she walks into the room. True love never comes easy, it has its own unique set of obstacles and challenges. Knowing you are totally screwed and looking forward to the goddamn trial is what makes it worth it!   

Instead of focusing on ensuring a tomorrow, focus on today. What you choose to do today, defines your tomorrow. I know it scares the fuck out of you thinking it might not work in the end but just for a second imagine – what if it does? A healthy relationship does not just happen, its takes time, patience and two individuals at it like mad (again in and out of bed)! True love is not intoxication. It is a deliberate choice, a decision that knockouts every single belief you ever had about relationships. 

Break free from the norms set for relationships by others. No two love stories are the same. And no two people are the same. Those partisan notions of love might give you a wedding but not a marriage. They might bring you commitment but never a relationship.
 
And the choice ultimately lies with you…would you rather opt for a commitment or a relationship?
 
Love is not about sharing the same toothbrush.
It is about sharing everything else!
Love is not about insisting to pay first.
It is about keeping a track of whose turn it is.
Love is not about ordering what he likes.
It is about making fun of her garden salad.
Love is not about sharing a hobby.
It is about experiencing life in time away.
Love is not about finding the sweet spot.
It is about discovering the worst lava cake in town.
Love is not about the perfect anniversary present.
It is about the random love notes he leaves on your desk. 
Love is not about knowing every single thing about him.
It is about knowing just how many hours it takes her to finish a murder mystery.
Love is not about that perfect first kiss.

It is about those habitual pecks on the cheek.

Love is not about falling asleep together.

It is about that java run in the morning.
Love is not about a perfectly tabulated family planning chart.
It is about those monthly freak-out sessions by the toilet seat. 
Love is not about risking it all. 
It is about knowing when to raise the stakes and when to step back.  

Love is not about being whole together.
It is about two complete individuals coming together.

“TELL ME”

Inklings - Poetry & Prose

I do not wish to know your story
Or the countless of dreams you hide
But tell me of that one unfortunate tale
That forced you to never confide…

I do not want to know about the great things
That you have over overcome
But tell me of those little things
That have made you what you’ve become…

I do not want to know the hundreds of applause
Or the gestures by people faking
But tell me how you feel
When you hear the sound of your dreams breaking…

I do not want to know of the brilliance
Of the sun at the peak of noon
But tell me about the darkest night
In the absence of the moon…

I do not want to know about your many friends
And what they say and do
But tell me about that one friend
Who lets you just be you…

I do not want to know about all the questions
That you have found the answers to
But tell me of that one answer
Of which you still feel to be untrue…

I do not want to know about the things
That you see in broad daylight
But tell me about what you see
After you close your eyes at night…

I do not want to know about your wounds
That hurt and burn sometimes
But tell me about the ones
Which have gone numb with time…

I do not want to know about the things you’ve written
Under the covers on a lonely night
But tell me about the blank pages that are filled
With words you were too reluctant to write…

I do not want to know about the things
That you would tell the world any way
But tell me about your immoral desires
That you are too afraid to ever say….

“…Someone Who Loves You…”

Inklings - Poetry & Prose

I stand before you…
Bare…
From head to toe…
My most sensitive mark
Visible to your naked eye.
I’ve traveled a long distance…
From Alexandria…
To Madrid…
From Wellington…
To Montreal.
And I find myself…
In the center of this circus…
Parched…
Exhausted…
And stripped away of my identity…!
You now stand before me…
And question my integrity.
You question my relationships.
And you raise a finger on my love.
The world around me…
Seems to know exactly how to maneuver me into a dark den
What they forget is that I’m guided by my own light.
You waltz in my life…knowing my weakness…
And decide to dictate me my flaws…
What you don’t realize is that my flaws make me strong.
While you are busy playing superficial…
I actually have people around whom I love dearly.
You obviously believe I’m not good enough…
I cannot be trusted…
And I am not like her.
What you forget in all of your verdicts…
That it was I…
Who held your hand…
When the world around you collapsed…!
It was I…
Who made you believe in yourself…
But now you are counting of all the ways…
I could do better.
I am done answering people.
I’m done trying to keep you happy.
You keep reminding me you have a hundred better options.
Well, I don’t want to be the 101 anymore.
This is it…
If you abuse me…
If you suspect me…
If you cannot accept me with all my imperfections…
Then It’s best to say our goodbyes…
No relationship can survive…
If one is adamant on changing the other.
I’m sure your new girl…
Will keep you very happy.
She will take care of sugar in your tea…
Clean your drawer…
Answer your mail…
Make you dessert…
Organize your planner…
Reschedule your meetings…
Jog your memory…
Purchase your medicines…
Iron your shirt…
Do your balance sheet …
Make you a mix CD
Wish you at midnight…
Count your kisses and pay back with interest…
And even read you the morning newspaper…
But hold on…
Why would she do that…
She is the one you love…
Not someone who LOVES YOU.

“…Selfless Presence…”

Inklings - Poetry & Prose

The sky is steel grey…
The sun has decided to take a holiday…
And birds chirrup loudly from the shaded mires.
A morning…
No different from the rest…
New York Times Square…
Certainly knows how to entertain winters.
Lively creatures…
Walk up and down the streets…
Each engaged in their own frivolities.
Running through the day…
Desperately trying to fill each minute…
With things yet to appear.
He is standing on one side of the road…
A man probably in his late twenties…
Waiting for the signal to go red…
Wearing his black pull over…
And a laptop bag on his right shoulder.
From the looks of a double espresso in his left hand…
Seems like he is on his way…
To another important meeting…
And
From the looks of his eyes…
It seems he has not been getting much sleep.
On the other side…
Another group of hasty pedestrians…
Linger to make their way to the other side.
Wait
What is this…?
A slender female in her early twenties…
Fidgeting amongst the rest…
She is most likely to be running late for work…
With the pile of files cramping her arm…
Looks like she is trying to make a mark…
In a world…
Ruled by chauvinistic men.
She tries to balance a latte in her hands…
While trying to keep warm…
Beneath her grey convertible collar trench.
And
From the looks of her dry patchy skin…
It seems she has not been taking much care of herself.
As the traffic signal…
Shifts from an emerald…
To a scarlet…
She takes her first step down the pavement…
He too unaware of the world around him…
Decides to mess with fate.
As her feet touches the first white stripe…
She raises her gloomy eyes…
And bringing on vindication…
His eyes meet hers…
The heart pounds…
But needs no retaliation.
She does not understand…
A self restoration takes place.
He finds him coerced towards her pale face…
A sudden disclosure of repose…
And a strange tenderness appears in the pupils.
As steps grow closer…
A faint smile starts to take shape…
His eyes speak of a betrayal beyond conception…
Her eyes narrate a story of trials and tears.
He feels no obligation…
To meet her expectations…
She assures with an unspoken declaration
Converting regulations…
Into friendly stipulations…!
She has a look that catches the eye…
But an aura that catches the heart…
His smile grows…!
He knows it is hard to reinstate faith…
But he is firm and resolute in his path.
Her cheeks fill up with color.
Half way between the roads
Their souls…
Intercept…
The air turns sultry…
The aroma of her hair…
Drenched in apples…
Sends a shiver down his spine…
His fantasies awaken.
Feelings of past emerge.
His deep dark eyes mystify her.
For a moment…
He could actually hear her heart ache with loneliness…
The accidental brisk of his arm against hers…
Caused the world to cease…
He had managed to give her an embrace of a lifetime…
With one single touch.
She wants to utter a million unsaid dreams…
And he understands each n every word.
He remembers how wonderful…
It was to live without boundaries.
She now remembers how cathartic…
It was to blush and feel beautiful.
As soon as they pass each other…
The world comes to life again…
Life does not stop for a mere theatrical debut.
They continue to take their steps forward…
She turns back and catches his gaze once again.
He whispers…
I’ve never felt so much familiarity…
By just staring into someone’s eyes…
So much I know about you without a single word…
Ever escaping either of our lips.
You have read me a like an open book…
And given me hope to write a brand new chapter.
She has learned to smile again…
And talk her heart out…
I do not understand…
How is it possible…?
In a matter of moments…
You have managed to heal my wounds…
In spangled silence…
You have given me a perfect moment of intimacy.
You’ve made me believe in kindness, loyalty and care once again.
“You have to put yourself first and learn to trust again”, he articulates.
“You have to let go of your past and give love a second chance”, she whispers back.
Now here we are…
Ready to depart our separate ways…
Beginning a brand new existence…
No one told us…
We were going to find each other…
Unexpected…
What you did to my heart…
When I lost hope…
You walked in…
Like a guardian angel…
Joint by an innocent touch…
We now feel free and ready to take on life.
As they step onto the concrete…
The sun peaks from behind the clouds…
His cell phone rings…
It’s his client, he loved his designs.
Her colleague waives to her…
Praises her dress and they walk away.
A selfless presence…
Can shower a decade of love and understanding…
Leaving behind only…
Memories that will stimulate smiles…
Till the end of time…!

“I still believe…”

Inklings - Poetry & Prose 4 Comments

A few pictures rest among the pages of my diary…
A used tissue paper still reeks of you…
An old toffee wrapper still smells sweets…
And the city is still alive at 3:15 AM in the morning.
The waves still rise above the shore…
I still cannot reach into the sky and hold a star…
People still believe in stories of love and destiny…
And I still find myself telling sweet lies.
The wind still blows against my pale cheeks…
Dreams still find a way back to me…
A few songs are still hard to listen to…
And I still believe this was all meant to be.
I still weep at night under the sheets…
The wall beside my dresser still illustrates the crack…
The black tee still bears the coffee stain…
And I still cannot find my pink charm bracelet.
This bed still hides a few secrets untold…
This cell phone still holds a few calls unanswered…
This library still conceals your letters…
And I still sometimes see you near my bed post.
A few words are still hard to say…
A few feelings are still hard to express…
A few dreams are still hard to let go off…
And a few hugs are still irreplaceable.
I still believe in strangers becoming best of friends…
I still believe my words make you shudder…
I still believe I’ve what it takes to bring you back…
And I still believe in YOU…!!!

“NEW MOON”

Inklings - Poetry & Prose

The Night of 14th December…

The corniche…

The car bonnet…

The stars…

The new moon…

Two cans of coke…

And

Two Best Friends…!

God! That was fun…

I know, can’t believe we actually did it.

Did you look at the green sari aunty…?

She could not stop staring…!

Yeah and that guy with the purple shirt…

He was practically panting…!

Really, everyone was like this is not possible…

They did not know what hit them…!

Well, you have to accept…

We do make a pretty good team.

I agree…!

They both were lying down…

Facing the stars…

Celebrating their victory…

It was pretty hard…

But nearly as impossible…!

Together, they could conquer anything…

And be the envy of the entire gathering…!

You tired…

He turned and asked her…

A bit but I’m too excited to feel any of it…

What about you?

Yup the same…!

He turned to her again…

You want something to eat…?

Not hungry…what is got into you…you never bother to ask me these things…?

Well, I guess…just trying to develop a habit…!

She laughed…

Don’t, I like the you…just the way you are…!

He smiled back.

She turned her head towards him…

He was looking back at her…

What are you staring at…?

Nothing, just trying to figure out something…!

She gave him the ignore look and looked up the sky…

The moon is full and shinning at its peak…

We sure picked the perfect date to carry out our performance…!

He took her hand…

She turned towards him…

He filled his fingers with his…

And pulled her hands towards his chest…!

You know whats the best thing about all of this…

What she inquired with hopeful eyes…

That at the end of it all…

I get to hold your Heena Hands…

And feel your Red Glass Bangles…!

Her cheeks flushed…

And her gaze lowered with love…!

The Crimson Red and Betel Green dress took a new turn…

The Kohl smudged…

The Earring caught in the Embroidery…

The Anklet made a heart-melting echo…

The Bangles found a support to lie down…

And the…

Bride and the Groom…share their First Kiss…!

Under the stars…

Tonight…

Whispered… “WE DID IT” =)

Sign Of True Love…Or Total Insanity…!

Inklings - Poetry & Prose 2 Comments

What the hell is this?
Crap…!
Are you of your mind?
I swear…I don’ know anything about this.
What do you mean…?
This came out of your bad…!
I have no idea, where this came from…
I promise you, this is not mine.
Don’t you dare lie to me…!
You expect me to believe you…!
So this was your important work last night.
I cannot believe, you lied to me…!
Just let me explain…
You are misunderstanding me.
No, now I can see it clear…
How can you hurt someone you love…?
This only shows you don’t love me…
How could I be so naive…?
I let my heart get the best of me…!
Will you just relax…
And stop jumping onto conclusions…
When I told you, I needed you…
I was missing your hugs…
You said…
You can’t make it…
Now I know, what was keeping you busy…!
Sweetheart, please it’s not what you think…
I love you very much…
I would never even think of hurting you..
Liar…!
Here I’m thinking of you…
And there you were smacking lips with…
Honey, don’t say that…!
Trust me…
Do you actually I can be ever un-faithful to you?
I don’t know anything now…
Just go away…
Honey, please don’t do this…
I said, just go away…!
I need some time alone…
Please just go away…
He quietly walked out…
He knew…
It was pointless talking to her right now…
Back in the room…
She threw the one thing that started all this…
Out the window
It was a wrapper
Of…
BEN & JERRY’S CHUNKY MONKEY ICE CREAM….!!! =P